by Jackie Ebel | Oct 12, 2022 | Counseling, Grief & Loss, Holidays, Mental health, Words of Encouragement
With the holidays quickly approaching, it may be hard to know how to handle loss and honor our loved ones that have passed away recently. Here are some ideas about how you can honor a loved one who has passed during this season.
Carry Out Their Traditions
Did your grandma always bake something special during the holidays? Did your uncle always chop down a real tree at a tree farm? Carrying out the traditions of a loved one who has passed during the holidays is a wonderful way to preserve the memory of someone. Continuing traditions is a wonderful way to find peace after a loved one has passed. Carrying out these traditions is a great way to celebrate someone’s life, rather than focusing on the fact that they’re no longer with you, as well as bring joy and familiarity into your holidays this season.
Create a Tradition
Creating a tradition in memory of your loved one that has passed is a beautiful way to remember them. For example, baking a holiday meal or dish in their honor, or making a playlist full of songs that remind you of them is a great way to remember a loved one, and continuing the tradition of baking their dish or listening to their playlist at each holiday season may bring you some peace and make you feel closer to your loved one, as well as help you remember them.
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
Put a Reminder in Your Home
Something that may help you honor a loved one who has passed might be to put something in your home that reminds you of them. Buying a loved one’s favorite flower, or ordering a personalized ornament such as this one may be a helpful way to honor a loved one who has passed. More traditional ideas, such as lighting candles, or leaving a chair open at the table during the big holiday meal, may be other ways you may feel more comfortable honoring someone you have lost.
Decorate Your Loved One’s Burial Site
If possible, travel to your loved one’s gravesite, and leave flowers or holiday decorations there. This is one way to show your care for someone who has passed. Fresh flowers, wreaths, notes, and photographs are usually allowed, but you may want to check the rules and regulations of the burial site before you make any plans. Be sure to decorate with weather-proof decorations if at all possible, and make sure to secure all decorations to the ground so they don’t blow away. Check out this article for more information.
Pass Down Your Family Member’s Legacy
If you have had a family member pass away recently, sometimes it seems that all of our focus is on the fact that this person is gone. Try to focus as well on the life that this person lived. One way to do this is to tell your kids or younger family members about the life this person lived. Tell them the stories they told you, crack open those photo albums, and re-create some of the activities they loved doing. Did your aunt love to play softball? Teach your little cousins how to play catch in the yard, and tell them about your aunt’s love for softball. Try to keep their memory alive as best as you can, and do your best to remember the wonderful life they lived. For tips about talking to family about death, check out this Safe Harbor article.
Conclusion
Over the past several years it has been hard for all of us, especially for those of who have lost family members and friends this past year. While it may be hard to celebrate this season without those loved ones physically present, keeping them in your hearts this year will bring you peace. Of course, grief does not stop during the holiday season, but your loved ones likely would have wanted you to enjoy the holidays no matter what, so try to celebrate this year while keeping your loved ones in your heart, as well as being grateful for the family and friends you still have with you.
You can also go to Safe Harbor International Ministries web page to listen to our latest podcast show for free about “Processing Grief During the Holidays” with special guest Mikela Hallmark, MS, LPC who is a therapist and Clinical Director of a Counseling Practice in Atlanta, GA. This episode will definitely help you understand your grief and identify healthy ways to work through it during this difficult holiday season. To listen to more of our shows please go to Safe Harbor IM
Written by Jackie Ebel, blogger/Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
by Jackie Ebel | Feb 27, 2021 | Gratitude, Healthy Lifestyles, Mental health, Staying Healthy, Wellness, Words of Encouragement
Many of us have spent a lot more time alone recently due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Without others to distract us and help keep our minds as busy, many folks are noticing that they don’t have a good relationship with themselves. For many, not having a good relationship with themselves can make it difficult to spend as much time alone as many of us have been lately. Having a good relationship with yourself has many benefits, including having a more fulfilling life, and being able to achieve your goals. Here are some ways you can work on your relationship with yourself while you have the time!
Be self-aware
Becoming self-aware, and realizing what you need is an important first step in having a better relationship with yourself. Many of us are so stressed and overwhelmed right now that we aren’t taking care of our bodies. We aren’t thinking about resting or taking breaks, we’re just thinking about the day to day things we have to do to stay afloat. We need to take a step back, and realize who we are and what our bodies and minds need from us right now! There are many different ways to do this, such as journaling, writing down your goals, practicing mindfulness or meditation, taking and understanding personality tests (such as this one from Safe Harbor International Ministries), or utilizing counseling services. Talkspace is a great way to utilize counseling services online, which is a great idea right now to help slow the spread of COVID-19. If you’re not sure if you need counseling services, this may help you determine if counseling is right for you.
Make time for yourself
Making time for yourself helps you understand that you are a priority in your own life! Every day, do something just for you. If you have an hour, maybe take a walk! If you have 10 minutes, you could watch a little inspirational clip on YouTube, such as this one. Read books and listen to podcasts that speak to you! If you feel like you still need more time, look here for ideas about how to make more time for yourself. If it’s time management you’re struggling with, this is an excellent source!
Make time for things you enjoy
Between jobs, school, and other obligations, many of us find it hard to carve out larger chunks of time for things we enjoy, especially now with the pandemic. It’s important when scheduling out your week, that you plan to have some downtime every once in a while. Scheduling downtime for yourself, or a day on the weekend to spend time with your family or roommates can be extremely beneficial. Your brain and your body need breaks every once in a while, and giving yourself that break to do something you love can help you have a better relationship with yourself!
Practice self-care
Practicing self-care during a pandemic is hard, but extremely necessary. Our world needs kindness more than ever, and being kind to yourself is no exception. After all, if you feel as though you are running on empty and you need a break, how can you expect to help others, or do what you need to do daily? Here are some tips for practicing self-care during a pandemic, as well as caring for others.
Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash
Get in touch with your spiritual side
Getting in touch with your spiritual side is a great way to understand yourself and the world around you better. This can help you have a better relationship with yourself. Utilizing devotionals, praying, listening to podcasts, and reading the Bible are great ways to do this! Zoom bible studies are becoming popular, too, as well as attending outdoor or online services. These are great ways to slow the spread of the virus while still connecting with God and others around you. Using your faith as a way to stay strong and positive with everything going on in our world is one of the best things you can do for yourself!
Practice self-acceptance
Self-acceptance is all about living your life for yourself, and not for others such as your parents, S.O., or your followers on social media. This can help you learn to love yourself. When you do what you want, and truly see yourself for who you are, you let go of feeling like you’re trying to be someone else. For a list of ideas about practicing self-acceptance, this is a great source!
Be grateful for your body
It’s very easy for us to feel bad about ourselves if we don’t feel confident in the way our body looks. 79% of the American population feels unhappy with the way their bodies look. Right now, you may be struggling to find the time to work out, or may not have the funds to eat the healthy meals you want to. Just keep in mind that there are many things that your body can do. You should be grateful for those things, and love your body in that way, even if you’re working on loving your body for the way it looks. Can your body play sports, or dance, or play an instrument? Can it take you to places you love or hug your favorite people? These things are just as important, if not more important, than the way your body looks! Keeping these things in mind will help you have a better relationship with yourself.
Conclusion
Remember, the only relationship you’re guaranteed to have your whole life is the one you have with yourself. This means that it’s extremely important to have a good relationship with yourself! What can you do today with the time and energy you have, for yourself? Remember that this situation will not last forever, so have some hope for a better future!
Other Photos by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
Written by Jackie Ebel, a blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out our blog page: https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
by Jackie Ebel | Dec 16, 2020 | Featured Post, Holidays, Nonprofit Life, Volunteers
We at Safe Harbor IM know that 2020 hasn’t been an easy year for anyone. Many terrible things happened throughout this year, but there were good things that happened too! This article will address the intern’s perspective about the positive and negative things that have happened this year, as well as some of our takeaways as interns at Safe Harbor.
2020
School
Photo by Compare Fibre on Unsplash
COVID-19 naturally had a large impact on all of us in 2020, and while it needs to be acknowledged that a lot of people lost their lives to this pandemic, it has also affected the quality of education students received this year. HR intern Jacob called his school’s response to COVID-19 “a roller coaster ride: At the beginning of the semester, they allowed for around half of classes to be done in person with social distancing and let students stay on campus with roommates. I was one of the few that had a single room so I felt safe to stay on campus, but as the COVID cases started to surge three weeks later, that feeling slowly faded away. Due to the surge in cases, the school decided to stop classes from being delivered in person and removed a large number of students off-campus. This made it difficult for me to find a place to live close to campus that didn’t cost a fortune. With everything online, mostly through zoom courses, it was difficult to keep myself focused on the class since it is not as interactive as in-person classes are. I think ultimately that how the school handled the COVID crisis was okay, in comparison with other schools, it would be ranked somewhere in the middle with how effective their response was.”
Like Jacob, blogging intern Samira, also found that online classes made it harder to motivate herself and stay focused: “Particularly my small-group tutorials were impacted negatively by being moved online because that made it easier for students not to participate. However, I nonetheless do think that online learning works better for universities than for high schools: my sister’s school, for instance, was not prepared at all and she essentially missed out on two months worth of classes. One of this year’s biggest takeaways in terms of education is simply the immense value of in-person teaching.”
Mental Health in 2020
Let’s put it simply: 2020 was tough. Whether you’ve lost a loved one or spent months in social isolation, this year has taken a toll on a lot of people’s mental health. Intern coordinator Rebecca looks back on this year and its impact on her mental health: “I have been trying hard to focus on the positives. This year included me giving birth to my first daughter, graduating from college, and going back to school to become a doula. So many highs have happened but I have struggled to celebrate myself and be excited about all of the identity transitions that I have gone through this year. I want to say that my mental health has been awesome, but that isn’t completely honest. I feel overwhelmed more days than not. I am working on finding out what balance means and how to find rest in all of the busy, demanding roles in my life. I am working on figuring out ways that help me show up in the best ways for myself, even when it’s really hard.”
Blogging intern Jackie also reflects on her and her friend’s mental health and how she supports them: “I have noticed a general decline in the mental health of those around me. I think it makes sense, given the conditions. We’re not made to be put under this much stress, and especially when that’s combined with the stress of college classes for most of my friends, it’s created some mental health issues for some of my friends. Something else that I’ve noticed is that people are unable to plan for the future. A lot of things seem to hang on the condition of the pandemic as well as changing restrictions. While this makes sense, and these changing restrictions benefit our health, it’s frustrating! I know I try to just be a sounding board for my friends and those around me, and I try to offer advice or creative solutions when I can. Mostly though, I’ve found that my role in offering support to my friends relies mostly on being a distraction from the world’s problems. My friends and I talk about other things, or stream movies on Netflix Party, and just generally try to take a break from the world! I think that is what is most helpful right now.”
Photo by Janko Ferlic on Unsplash
Personal Relationships
2020 has brought many changes in our personal relationships. Social Media team leader Mikayla noticed some positive things: “I believe this pandemic has brought everyone together. This is the first time in today’s time that our entire nation has gone through something together. People are talking and checking up on people more online all while spending a lot of time in solitude learning about themselves, their spouses, their children, etc. This year was a year of growth, especially for me. The person I was in January is completely different from the person I am now. This year might have sucked for most of us, but I think it was a year that was needed.” Team Lead of the HR section, Elizabeth, talked about how it can be difficult to connect with others, but when a connection does happen it’s worth the struggle: “For me, it is easy to forget about the outside world when I am alone and isolated. I think that the thing that I have noticed with my friendships is that I need to put intentional effort into them. It also doesn’t mean that I have to invest a lot of my day into communicating with friends because I think that is what deters me away from reaching out. I have found that if I am just intentional about sending a message to one of my friends every couple of days it allows me to feel connected to them still but also gives us each the opportunity to share. It is easy to get overwhelmed but I have found a quick check-in to be great to still have communication without being able to see them in person.”
Good Things About 2020
While some horrible things happened over this year, some good things happened too. It’s impossible to mention the Black Lives Matter movement without the deaths of George Floyd and countless others, it’s worth mentioning the number of people who were educated about issues of racism in America and around the world this year. Also, many of us have gone through a lot of personal growth this year. Intern Amanda said that “Although this was an incredibly challenging year, I would say I have also grown a lot during the last year. Like everyone else in the world, I have endured a lot of change throughout the last few months. I think I have grown in terms of being thankful for the here and now, and focusing more on what I can do with what I have. If there is anything that this has taught me, it is that you can only control so much. Most of the changes I faced, I had zero control of. You can only control your reactions to situations, and how you proceed with life. I have definitely realized this more, and focused more on doing what I can with the circumstances”.
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash
Safe Harbor Internship
Things We Learned
Each of us learned different things throughout the course of our internship. Julia, one of our Office Admin interns, talked about her new skillset: “I am most impressed by the number of new skills I have gained as a result of this internship. The first is my organization skills have increased tremendously. With school, work, and this internship, I had to be extremely organized and manage my time wisely. Additionally, my skills in programs such as Canva, Slack, Thinkific, Zoom, and Audacity have greatly improved. I have learned to work with a team, put myself out there, and hold myself accountable for my mistakes. I am very proud of these new skills, and I know I will use them for the rest of my career.” Our current Office Admin team lead, Shannon, talked about her takeaways from the virtual aspect of the internship: “I learned just how much I was a worker and we as a team were able to accomplish in a fully virtual format! Traditionally, internships with a non-profit would need to be done in-person at the organization. For this internship, we used Slack and Zoom for communications and Google Drive to collaborate on tasks. I learned concrete strategies for how to communicate and collaborate with my team members virtually. I think that I can carry these strategies forward beyond this experience.”
Professional Relationships
As much as this internship taught all of us interns, it also allowed us to build relationships, both professional and personal, with so many amazing people. Administration Assistant intern Corrine reflects on working with interns Shannon and Julia: “I have always felt incredibly lucky to be paired with them because they were amazing teammates to work with! We all got along so well but one of my favorite memories involves our Wednesday and special Saturday meetings! Keeping each other up to date on the latest assignments and chatting about what was going on in our lives was always something I looked forward to. It was so fun to be able to be creative and collaborate with my teammates and we came out of this internship as friends.”
Photo by Clint Patterson on Unsplash
Conclusion
While 2020 brought a variety of hardships and struggles with it, it is also important to acknowledge some of the positives that happened this year. Looking back on 2020, while we interns at Safe Harbor will – just like everyone else – remember COVID-19, we will also be able to look back on a year of personal and professional growth, filled with new connections and friendships.
If you, too, are interested in expanding existing and building new skills, surrounded by a bunch of amazing people, consider interning with Safe Harbor in 2021!
To hear the current interns speak about their year and internship experience, make sure to give our ‘2020 Wrap Up’ podcast a listen.
We at Safe Harbor hope that you have a positive start into the year 2021! Happy Holidays!
Written by Jackie Ebel and Samira Rauner, bloggers at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
by Jackie Ebel | Dec 14, 2020 | Holidays
We at Safe Harbor IM know that this year has been tough for everyone, and the holidays are no exception. One of the hardships many folks have had to endure this year have been financial hardships. It’s common to spend more money this time of year around the holidays, but this year, many people may not have the means to do that. Here are some ideas for celebrating the holidays on a budget.
Use What You Have
It can be tempting to buy new holiday sweaters, decorations, or new Christmas pajamas this year. These holiday displays in stores are in all of our faces, and the decorations and outfits are all festive, who wouldn’t want to buy them? But if you’re on a budget this year, we at Safe Harbor encourage you to use decorations and other festive things from years past. How many holiday sweaters and things do you have stuffed away in your attic or basement? Probably plenty. If you’re on a budget this year, stick to buying only the things you need, not things you already have.
Make a Gift List
It can be tempting to go into stores to shop for gifts for your loved ones and see lots of things you want to buy and choose to purchase them all. However, this kind of shopping and spending can add up. Instead, make a list of things you want to get for your family and friends before you go shopping (whether you choose to shop in stores or online) and stick to the list. This year, a lot of stores are offering curbside pickup due to COVID-19. This option is safer for you because you don’t need to go into a store, but it’s also better for your wallet, too. Curbside pickup rules out the possibility of you placing things in your shopping car you don’t need as you walk through the store.
Cash Your Rewards In
Many people have rewards cards, coupons, points, and gift cards sitting around in their wallets or their accounts for stores they shop in frequently. All of these systems can save us money as we shop for gifts this holiday season! If you’re worried that you’re going to spend too much money, try purchasing gifts from stores where you know you’ll get a discount of some sort. It might make sense to take stock of which stores you can get discounts in before you make your gift list out so that you can make the smartest financial choices this holiday season, and it might even help you decide which gifts to buy for your loved ones this season.
Shop Around
If you have a certain gift in mind for that special someone, see if you can find the same product for a lower price at a different store. Comparing prices online, especially when it comes to big purchases such as electronics, is a great way to make sure you don’t spend more money than you have to. Don’t forget to consider shipping, though, if you order a gift online!
Choose Handmade Gifts
One cheap and fun way to celebrate the holidays this year is to make your gifts, rather than buy them. Knitting, creating scrapbooks, and paintings are wonderful gifts. Homemade gifts are not only cheap gifts, but they’re thoughtful gifts to give because having someone in mind while creating a gift makes the gift much more personal. Check out this list for more ideas!
Set a Budget
One of the most important things to consider when celebrating the holidays on a budget is setting a budget. Figuring out how much money you can afford to spend this season is the first step of this process, then figuring out how much you can spend per gift, or per person is the next step. Taking into account shipping costs is important too, so make sure to order gifts altogether to minimize shipping costs if possible. Check out this article for more information about setting a budget.
Choose Cheap Holiday Activities
Many of our traditions around the holidays can be pricey. Decorating your home with lots of lights might look fabulous, but might rack up your energy bill too. Buying expensive holiday drinks might be fun and great content for your social media, but the prices might add up. Don’t forget to take into account the activities you choose to do this holiday season- some of which might be pretty expensive. Not to worry, though, there are many affordable or even free options for activities. Some options might include making hot cocoa at home and watching a favorite holiday movie, or volunteering your time at a shelter or food bank. Check out this article about free ways to show your appreciation for your loved ones.
Conclusion
This year has put all of us through many hardships, and the holidays don’t change that. While having a holiday season where money is tight might seem bleak, it’s important to remember that it’s still possible to have wonderful holidays even on a budget. It just takes some planning. Here’s a Safe Harbor course regarding financial literacy that might help you learn more about how to manage your money.
Written by Jackie Ebel, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
by Jackie Ebel | Dec 2, 2020 | Counseling, Grief & Loss, Holidays
The holiday season is different this year, and that’s no secret. Many people are finding themselves in situations where they cannot go home for the holidays to visit family or friends, or they may have lost loved ones this year. No matter your situation, it’s normal to feel as though you don’t know what to do if you’re spending your holidays alone this year. Here are some ideas to keep the holiday season special.
Acknowledge How You Feel
It’s normal to have unfamiliar feelings about this holiday season, especially if you’re spending it alone. You might feel sad or frustrated, or you may feel relieved that you don’t have to make small talk with people you don’t enjoy. All of these feelings are valid, but understand that the first step towards a happy holiday season by yourself is accepting these feelings. To process how you’re feeling, you might try journaling or talking it out with a loved one. However, if you feel like your emotions surrounding this holiday season are starting to hinder your ability to function normally, you may want to speak with a counselor. For more information about whether or not it’s time for you to look into counseling, check out this Safe Harbor IM article, and for information about family conflict resolution, check out this article.
Keep Up With Your Traditions
Does your family cook something special for the holidays, or wear Christmas pajamas on Christmas eve? Do you have a New Year’s tradition that you normally do with your friends? If so, try to replicate it in your plans for the holidays this year. While this holiday season is going to be different than normal, many people may feel as though making their holidays feel as normal as possible this year may make them feel better. If this is the case for you, think about all of the traditions you’ve done over the past few years and see if you can replicate your favorites!
Create Your Own Traditions
All traditions had to start somewhere, right? This year is the perfect year for creating new traditions. Have you always wanted to decorate your house with lights, or send out Christmas cards? Now is the time. Creating your own traditions and doing things you enjoy this holiday season will only bring you more joy, so try some new recipes, or buy a holiday sweater for your pet- whatever floats your boat. Creating a fun new tradition is one of the most beautiful things you can do to add joy to your life during this difficult holiday season.
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
Decorate for the Holidays
One way to bring joy into your everyday life, even when you’re alone, is to decorate for the holidays. Your budget might be tight this year, but if you can, a little bit of decorating goes a long way. Just because you’re home alone doesn’t mean you can’t get excited about the holidays, and decorating your home, even if it’s just a little bit, can really help! Decorating your home or your apartment just for you might feel silly, but remember that you are just as worthy of a holiday celebration as your loved ones!
Connect With Others… or Don’t
For some people, it may help to connect with others during the holidays. Holding family or friend zoom sessions with lots of people may be something that really appeals to you this season, and seems as though it’s better than not seeing any family members at all. Calling your loved one, or all making the same holiday recipe might make you feel as though you’re closer to the ones you love this year. However, if you would rather binge-watch holiday movies on the couch than participate in an awkward or uncomfortable conversation with your extended family, that’s okay too! This year is the year to do that. Whatever makes you feel best is what you need to go for, whether that’s participating in virtual activities, or enjoying your alone time.
Spread Love
If you have the time and the resources, consider spreading some love this holiday season. There are many safe ways to do this, such as sending cards or gifts to your loved ones, or volunteering at an organization in your town that needs an extra set of hands this holiday season. Keep in mind that volunteer work will likely bring you in contact with others, and there may be more safety precautions this season due to COVID-19. If you don’t feel comfortable in that kind of situation, consider giving blood, or making a donation to a food bank. Every little bit helps, and spreading the love is really what this season is all about anyway.
Conclusion
It’s easy to forget why many of us are spending the holidays alone this year. Remember that by choosing to spend the holidays alone this year, you’re keeping your family and loved ones safe. The holidays this season may look different, but don’t forget that the most important thing right now is to stay safe, even if that means being by yourself. For more information on celebrating holidays without family, check out this Safe Harbor IM article. While your holidays might look different this year, Safe Harbor challenges you to find safe ways to celebrate and to create new traditions. Have a wonderful holiday season!
Written by Jackie Ebel, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
