Trigger Warning: This article contains discussions of suicide,.suicidal ideation,.and self-harm. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms,.we encourage you to seek help. (You can find helpful resources below.)

Although domestic violence awareness has increased over the last few years, the LGBTQIA+ community has often been left out, reflected in the fact that only 45% of LGBTQIA+ domestic violence survivors.reported the abuse to the police. With a large dark figure, however, the official percentage might be much lower..

With October marking the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month,.we therefore want to specifically raise awareness for domestic violence affecting people who do not identify as heterosexual or cisgender. 

Whether you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or you know someone who is,.this article will dispel popular myths around domestic violence. We will also explain some unique barriers LGBTQIA+ people might face,.and provide resources for getting help. 

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Popular myths around domestic violence and the LGBTQIA+ community

MYTH: Domestic violence is mainly a ‘straight issue’ and rarely affects LGBTQIA+ people
TRUTH: LGBTQIA+ people are equally likely to experience domestic violence as people identifying as heterosexual/cisgender. In fact, 44% of lesbians and 37% of bisexual men surveyed have experienced stalking or.some type of physical/sexual violence.by an intimate partner. In comparison, 35% of heterosexual women and 29% of straight men respectively have experienced the same. 

MYTH: Psychological violence (including name-calling, outing, or attempts at controlling/threatening the partner).is not as serious as sexual or physical violence.
TRUTH: Emotional or psychological violence can include verbal aggression, manipulation, humiliation, gaslighting,.or diminishing the other person’s self-worth, and needs to be taken as seriously as any kind of physical violence.
Emotional violence can – just like physical violence.– result in anxiety, depression,.post-traumatic stress disorder, or suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing psychological violence or are suffering from suicidal ideation,.scroll down to find a list of resources and places to get help.

MYTH: The more masculine-perceived/stronger/bigger partner is the abuser.
TRUTH: This myth is rooted in society’s preconceptions of what masculinity and femininity should mean. For instance, men are generally viewed to be stronger than women.and as such experience more stigma.when it comes to domestic violence. Even though 1 in 6 men are survivors of domestic violence, they are often afterthoughts.
Domestic violence, however, can affect everyone – regardless of gender, body traits, sexuality, or race.

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Aspects unique to domestic violence in the LGBTQIA+ community

Particularly because people part of the LGBTQIA+ community are unfortunately still subject to stigma and homophobia,.there are some elements that heterosexual and cisgender people likely do not experience. 

• Outing

An abusive person may threaten to reveal their partner’s sexual orientation and use ‘outing’ as a tool of manipulation. Remember that a partner not respecting your boundaries and using (emotional) manipulation can be an indicator of psychological violence.

• Misgendering

Similarly, a person purposefully misgendering their partner or referring to them as “it” is also categorized as psychological abuse. For instance, misgendering can also include not respecting their partner’s gender identification.

• Past traumatic experiences

An alarming 9 out of 10 students identifying as LGBTQIA+ reported having been a victim of bullying at some point in their lives.
Unfortunately, many LGBTQIA+ people have already experienced traumatic events such as bullying or hate crimes, and are therefore less likely to seek help. For instance, only 26% of men in same-sex relationships called the police for assistance after experiencing near-lethal violence.
Though past traumatic events are arguably part of the reason, there are many more challenges that LGBTQIA+ people might have to face when trying to get help.

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Barriers LGBTQIA+ people may face when seeking help

As a survivor of domestic violence, actively seeking help is hard enough. However, due to the still prevalent stigma around non-heteronormative identities,.members of the LGBTQIA+ community may face additional challenges. 

• Potential homophobia

Unfortunately, the LGBTQIA+ community still faces stigmatization and discrimination. Seeking help is hard enough,.but LGBTQIA+ people might have to cope with the additional fear of experiencing homophobia.from counsellors,.volunteers, or the police.
If you are experiencing domestic violence and are afraid of potential homophobia you might face,.know that there are resources specific to the LGBTQIA+ community where you can get help. Scroll down to see a list of hotlines and websites. 

• The stigma around the LGBTQIA+ community

As the LGBTQIA+ community is often excluded from discussions around domestic violence,.many might find it harder to reach out and seek help,.as they are often not represented. Though support websites and resources now also cater specifically to LGBTQIA+ people,.particularly in smaller towns the services available are often not too familiar with the unique elements of domestic violence in the LGBTQIA+ community.
This underrepresentation can make it even more difficult for LGBTQIA+ survivors to speak out. 

• Barriers specific to trans people 

Similarly, this underrepresentation of the LGBTQIA+ community results in trans people in particular facing additional barriers.
Most shelters are sex-segregated and many used to accept only cisgender women. However, with both the awareness of domestic violence in the LGBTQIA+ community.and the awareness around trans identities increasing,.more shelters have been revising their entrance policy.
In fact, with the ‘Violence Against Women Act’s anti-discriminatory provisions in place,.trans people should not be asked invasive questions about their body.and be placed in the programs corresponding with how they identify their gender.

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Where to get help if you are experiencing domestic violence 

Below you can find a list of resources, both within the United States and worldwide,.to help you if you are a domestic violence survivor. Those resources include free hotlines you can call, numbers to text,.and additional resources specific to the LGBTQIA+ community.
If you are experiencing domestic violence,.we encourage you to talk to someone and to get help. Know that you have nothing to be ashamed of and that you are not alone. 

Resources in the United States

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
  • Available 24/7.
  • Call 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 if you are unable to speak. 
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • Free to call and available 24/7. 
  • Call 1-800-273-8255.
  • If you are deaf or hard of hearing, you can also chat with a counsellor online.
• The Network/La Red’s LGBQ/T hotline
  • Available 24/7 and free to call.
  • Provides confidential support, information, safety planning,.and crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ people,.as well as people in SM relationships, who are experiencing intimate partner violence. 
  • Call 800-832-1901.
• The Trevor Project 
  • Available 24/7.
  • Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQIA+ people aged 13-24.
  • Call 1-866-488-7386.
  • You can also chat with someone online, or to text, send START to 678-678.
• Trans Lifeline.
  • Call 877-330-6366. 
  • Provides peer support for trans and questioning people.
• The National Sexual Assault Hotline .
  • Run by RAINN.(Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the hotline connects you to a trained staff member providing you with confidential crisis support. 
  • Call 800-656-4673.
  • You can also chat with a trained support specialist.online. 
• Legal information on your rights
  • Provided by the American Bar Association, this document.was created to help you navigate the legal system,.outlining your rights as an LGBTQIA+ survivor of domestic violence. 

Resources worldwide

With the COVID-19-related lockdowns resulting in many victims of domestic violence isolating with perpetrators,.making it harder to get help, here are two great resources to help you to talk to someone. 

• In the United Kingdom

  • All Boots pharmacies across the U.K. now offer free and confidential consultation rooms.where you can contact specialist domestic abuse services for support and advice. Locate your nearest Boots here. 
  • If you need to call the 999 but you are unable to speak,.have a look at this guide detailing how to nonetheless reach the police. 
  • Samaritans
    • Provides support and help for suicidal thoughts.
    • Available 24/7 and free to call.
    • Call 116 123.
  • Childline 
    • For children and young people under 19, providing crisis and suicide prevention support.
    • Call 0800 1111 (the number will not show up on your phone bill).
  • National LGBTQIA+ Domestic Abuse Helpline
    • Available from 10am – 5pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays, and 10am – 8pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays.
    • Offers trans specific service on Tuesdays from 1pm – 5pm.
    • Call 0800 999 5428.

• The Rest of the World

  • Suicide Hotlines for every country
  • National Women’s Helplines for 46 European countries 
    • Can also be called by LGBTQIA+ people,.regardless of sexual orientation or gender identification. 
  • Helplines and psychological support for LGBTQ+ people in Europe 
    • This list is partially incomplete.but includes resources such as support groups for specific European countries. 

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You are not alone

If you are experiencing domestic violence,.remind yourself that that is nothing to be ashamed of.and that you are worthy of seeking help. 

We encourage you to talk to someone about what you are experiencing.by either calling any of the numbers listed above, talking to someone you know and trust, or by joining a support group. 

If you are not sure whether you are in an abusive relationship, read about how to recognize signs of abuse, and how to recognize an abuser. 

Remember, you are not alone. 

Written by Samira Rauner, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.