How do we define family? I was pondering this question over and over in my head the other day when my best friend asked me to write an article on family. I thought of the many families that I have talked to throughout the years, and I started to think about what exactly made them family.

What structure or makeup considers family as being a family? Webster dictionary describes a family as “A group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head.”

Today, we see so many types of families. Traditionally, we have seen families with one father, and one mother, with children. But as our society has changed, we see more and more households changing from that traditional family makeup.

In some instances, we see the grandparents raising their grandchildren. You may see siblings taking care of their younger siblings, or you may see aunts and uncles raising their sibling’s children. Whatever the case, it has become very noticeable that what we once considered a family unit has expanded.

We can see that families at times are put together by default, for lack of better words. We have even seen more and more couples who cannot have children for various reasons are adopting or fostering children.

Families can be made up of different races, ethnic groups, or a group of complete strangers deciding to live together and becoming a family. We see same-sex couples raising children, or taking in the neighbor’s children due to their parents dying.

To sum this all up, a family is considered family, no matter what the makeup may be. Remember that however you became a family, God loves you and your family so much.

There are many ways we view family, but I was interested in how God sees families. I began to take a closer look at some of the families in the Bible, along with the first family in the Bible, Adam and Eve. I was able to see so many things God was telling us about the families mentioned in the Bible and the many responsibilities families have.

Let’s take a closer look at Adam and Eve. Many times when people read or even teach on the first family in the Bible, they highlight how Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of their first home, the garden. They also focus on Cain and Abel (Adam and Eve’s first sons) issues.

It is very clear that this family was dysfunctional in some ways. The first family’s sons had issues with each other and one son went as far as to kill his brother. Wow, talk about having some family issues.

All families have some form of dysfunction, just like the first family in the Bible. They were found being disobedient towards God, doing things in their own way, and ultimately rejecting God’s original plan He had for their lives.

So if you ever get sad and upset about your family having some problems, keep in mind that all throughout the Bible, we can see so many dysfunctional families with so many problems. Know that you are not alone.

Do you think that God put all of these families’ issues and problems in the Bible so we can understand that no family here on earth is perfect, or ever will be? That is truly something to think about.

But guess what? God had a plan to restore us back to Him through His son Jesus Christ, and this, in turn, allowed us back in the garden to fellowship with Him. Even when they messed up, God had a plan to restore them back to Him, because He had a plan for families.

So, we can see that God did not abandon Adam and Eve, or change His mind about mankind, or even families. God has had a plan all along for families. He has a purpose for everything under the sun that was made and created.

Just like your family, God had an original plan laid out for your family even before you were born. You may not have seen it, but it is true. God never makes anything without giving it a purpose.

By taking a closer look at scriptures and the stories in the bible of the families, we will be able to get a glimpse into why God created families. We will then be able to see the purpose for families. Let’s take a look at some of the families in the Bible and how God gave each family responsibilities.

What are the responsibilities that are given to the family:

Provide basic needs (food, clothing, shelter):

• In Proverbs 31:15, God talks about the virtuous woman. “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family.” We can see here that God designed family to be a provider of needs for our families, whether you are a single mom, or a couple raising children. Families are designed to provide these basic needs for the ones under their care.

Praying for each other:

• There was a man in the Bible named Cornelius in Acts 10:2. “He and his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.” Families are called to pray to God and pray for one another on a regular basis.
• In Acts 10:4, God even told Cornelius that his prayers and what he did for others came up to heaven as a memorial offering before God. I believe that it touches God’s heart when He sees families praying and praying for others where it sets up a memorial before the Lord. A memorial is something that God will remember.
• God will remember you and your family when you seek Him on a regular basis for direction. Families are called to pray for one another.

Providing Protection:

• • God has charged families to protect each other. In 1 Samuel 30, David’s entire family was taken captive. First, David wept bitterly over his family being taken. This shows us that he cared deeply for them and how he loved them so much. Secondly, David prayed to God for strength to get them back. So after David cried and prayed, he got up and went after his family to get them back. Wow, what a protector David was. David did not want to see any harm come to his loved ones, and he would have stopped at nothing to get them back.
  • I truly believe that God created families to have the innate ability to protect and defend their family at all cost. Families should not want to see harm come to anyone in their family. Families are called to provide protection and safety for their loved ones.

Pronouncing blessings over your family:

• • In Genesis 27:33-37, we see that Isaac pronounced blessings over his children. We see the passing of family blessings down to the next generation. It is so important to speak blessings over our family and not curses.
  • You may be saying to yourself, “I have never cursed my family,” but think about this: when you say negative things about and over an individual, basically, you are cursing them. You are speaking the opposite of what God has spoken.
  • Telling your son that he is going to end up “just like his good for nothing daddy” is speaking a curse over him. I don’t care what that child is doing, God has called that child blessed, and He has a purpose for that child. You may not see it because of what you see that child doing now, but God has already called that child blessed. We must learn to watch what we speak over our families and our children. Families are called to pronounce the blessings of God over their families.

Providing Love:

• • The opposite of love is rejection. We see so many rejected individuals walking around in life, and we wonder why they act the way that they act, simply because they came from a home that rejected them. Telling children “I wish you were never born” is a form of rejection. When we speak such words, we are planting seeds of rejection, and those seeds take root.
  • There are many ways we reject our families: not speaking to them for long periods of time, ignoring them even when they are in the same room, withholding affection from them, not hugging them, never affirming them and using your words to tell them that you love them, not listening to them, telling them that they don’t matter. The list goes on and on.
  • God has called the family to love each other as Christ loves the church, Ephesians 5:25. We are also seeing a large number of orphans in society, and guess what? They are also dealing with the spirit of abandonment and rejection. I believe that God is moving on the hearts of families to take these orphans in and to show them the love of Christ. Rejection is such a hard thing to deal with, and God never intended for families to live in a state of being rejected. The family was created to love one another and to show love.

Passing down of Skills:

• • At Genesis chapter 4:2, we see that at that time, Adam and Eve (the first family in the Bible) gave birth to sons Cain and Abel, and both sons had jobs and skills. Abel kept flocks (he was a shepherd) and Cain worked the soil (he was a farmer). Where did they learn these skills, one might ask? At that time, there were only two other human beings on the earth, Adam and Eve, their parents. It is safe to assume that their parents taught them how to farm and keep flocks.
  • If you take a look at families today, you can see that each family has skills and abilities they can pass along to their children. I look at my family, and I see so many women in my family are very skillful at cooking, sewing, and making things by hand. We also have many men in our family who are good at working on cars, house repairs, and building things. I look at all of this raw talent and I am truly amazed by all of the gifts that God has given my family. I am also glad to see them pass these skills along to the younger generation.
  • I believe that we can learn from this first family and how they taught their sons skills. Question: Have you shared with your family members skills that you have learned? You may be saying to yourself, I don’t have any special talents to pass along to anyone. Every person on earth is equipped with some type of ability to do something. Ask God today to show you what that skill is.
  • I truly believe that He will amaze you with what He shows you. All families are equipped with a set of unique skills and abilities. Families are called to pass along skills to the younger generation.

Identity:

• • David had a son named Solomon. One day, David received a word from God about Solomon and how God had chosen Solomon to build God’s temple. In I Chronicles 22, we see that David wanted to build this magnificent temple, for God had intended for Solomon to build it. Building God’s house was what Solomon was chosen to do.
  • His identity was quickly discovered at a young age. Because David was a praying man and sought God on what to do in every aspect of his life, including how His son was to be used by God, David was able to get a glimpse of who Solomon was and the calling on His life. We never see David trying to persuade Solomon to do something else with his life. Instead, we see in chapter 22:7-16, David telling Solomon who God called him to be, and what he was chosen to do. David prays and prophesy over his son in I Chronicles:
    

    I Chronicles 22:11-13: “Now, my son, the Lord be with you, and may you have success and build the house of the Lord your God, as he said you would.
    12 May the Lord give you discretion and understanding when he puts you in command over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the Lord your God.
    13 Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the Lord gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged.”

    We see in I Chronicles 22:14 how David begins making preparations for Solomon to build the temple: “I have taken great pains to provide for the temple of the Lord…” In all of these passages, we see how David encourages Solomon to be who God called him to be, without trying to change him into who he wants Solomon to be.

  • In other words, David agrees with God’s plan for who He has created Solomon to be, and what he is to do with his life. Families are all called to help their children establish their identity in God.

As we have seen in these seven points on what God has called the family to do, families have a great responsibility. It doesn’t matter who your family is and how you became a family, God has a purpose for each family. Do you know the purpose of your family?

The article was written by Marquetta Smith, Executive Director of Safe Harbor International Ministries