If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, we encourage you to speak to someone. You can call the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential support 24/7. For more resources, scroll down to the bottom of the article. 

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, with around 1 death for every 25 suicide attempts. Each year, around 50,000 Americans lose their lives to suicide. Understanding the reasons behind suicide can be hard for some people, yet for someone experiencing depression or feelings of despair, it might seem like there is no other option. 

With November 21 marking the International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, we want to shine some light on warning signs of suicide, how to respond to them, and how to start a conversation around suicide. If at any point in this article you feel like you need to reach out to someone, please do so and talk to a friend, a family member, or professionals at 1-800-273-8255. Even though it might sometimes feel like it, if the statistics show anything, it is that you are not alone.

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Understanding Suicide: Risk Factors

A person wanting to take their life can have a range of reasons. Among the most cited are psychiatric disorders, substance abuse, and family and social situations. Some studies report that close to 90% of suicidal people suffer from a form of mental disorder, with depression, schizophrenia, PTSD, and eating and bipolar disorders among the most common. 

However, family and social circumstances are also contributing factors to suicide risk. Situations might include but are not limited to, homelessness, unemployment, domestic violence (including the LGBT+ community), sexual violence, social isolation, feelings of rejection, stress, or loss of a loved one. 

Particularly with COVID-19 having profound psychological and social effects, suicide rates are increasing. For instance, a US emergency hotline for people in emotional distress has recorded an increase of 1000% in April. With an international mental health crisis on the rise, it is important to be aware of suicide warning signs, and where to get help. 

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Warning Signs of Suicide

Remember to take any and all warning signs of suicide seriously. The list below is by no means an exhaustive list, so be guided by your instincts. 

Most people considering suicide give warning signals, but unfortunately, these are often missed. If you are aware of some of the most common warning signs of suicide, you can play a role in the suicide prevention of a friend, a family member, a colleague, or even a stranger. 

If you believe that someone you know may be suicidal, show that you care, and get professional help involved. 

Non-verbal indicators

• Social withdrawal and isolation
• Constant anger or frustration
• Alcohol or drug abuse/addiction
• Rapid weight changes and poor diet
• Reckless behaviors
• A persistent drop in mood or extreme mood swings
• Disinterest in maintaining personal hygiene 
• Preoccupation with death
• Sleeping too little or too much

Verbal indicators

• Hopelessness
• No hope for the future
• Self-loathing and self-hatred
• Indicating suicide or self-harm
• Talking about death or wanting to die
• Feelings of worthlessness and despair
• Believing they are a burden to others
• Feeling trapped
• No sense of purpose

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Suicide Prevention: How to respond to warning signs

If you spot any of those warning signs, you might naturally be anxious about starting a conversation with that person. What if you’re wrong and they’re not considering suicide? What if they are and you mentioning it will make the situation worse? Or what if they get angry? 

If someone talks about suicide or exhibits a number of verbal and non-verbal indicators, it is typically a cry for attention and a cry for help. If you are wrong and that person is not experiencing suicidal ideation, you will not do any harm by showing that you care. 

On the other hand, however, giving someone the opportunity to express their feelings by asking if they are okay, is sometimes all a person might need. 

Ways to start a conversation

• Are you okay?
• How are you feeling?
• I have been feeling worried about you lately.
• I recently noticed that you’ve changed – are you okay?
• Is there anything you want to talk about?
• I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing.
• I was just thinking about you and I wanted to check in.
• You don’t seem yourself lately – do you want to talk about it?
• Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself?

Questions you can ask

• How long have you felt like this?
• When did you start feeling this way?
• Is there anything I can do for you?
• What can I do to help you?
• What do you need?
• How can I best support you?
• Have you thought about getting help?

Reassuring and helpful things you can say/do

• You are not alone in this.
• I support you.  
• I am here for you.
• Let me know what I can do.
• I may not fully understand how you feel, but I am there for you. 
• I care about you.
• Whenever you feel like you want to give up, tell yourself that you will hold off for one more week, one more day, one more hour, one more minute – whatever you can manage. 
• Whenever you feel like giving up, call me, text me, call someone else, text someone else. You are loved.
• Actively encourage healthy behavior

What not to do/say

• Do not argue with the person. Accept how they feel. 
  • Do not say things like “But you have so much to live for”, “I don’t get it”, or “It’s just a phase”.
• Promise confidentiality.
  • When suicide is involved, life is at risk. If you know that someone is suicidal, always encourage them to seek out professional help, or get a mental health professional involved yourself. 
• Judge or try to fix things.
  • The person does not have to justify their feelings. Giving advice and trying to fix a problem is not the solution. 

If the person denies being suicidal or does not want to talk to you, remind them that you are there for them in the future and that you will listen to them whenever they feel like talking. Let them know that there is a range of resources online, including helplines, online chats, and text services with mental health professionals. 

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Where to get help

Even though women* are reportedly more likely to experience suicidal ideation, men* are four times as likely to commit suicide. Unfortunately, there is still stigma attached to men’s mental health, making them less likely to reach out for help. 

Know that there is no shame in getting help. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, know that there are people who will listen, judgment-free:

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)
  • Talk to a mental health professional at 1-800-273-8255 (free and available 24/7)
  • Chat with a mental health professional (available 24/7)
• The Crisis Text Line (USA)
  • Text HOME to 741741 to talk to a counselor for free. Available 24/7. 
• The Trevor Project (USA)
  • For suicide prevention amongst the LGBTQIA+ youth
  • Call 866-488-7386 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Lines worldwide 
  • Here you can find the national suicide hotline for your country. 

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Conclusion

Remember that it is important to speak up if you suspect someone you know might be suffering from suicidal thoughts. It is just as important to show them that you care and that you are there for them. 

If you yourself are experiencing feelings of hopelessness or despair, remind yourself that you are not alone. Reach out to people you know or to any of the helplines above to talk to someone who will simply listen. 

Whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever you are experiencing – you are not alone. 

Written by Samira Rauner, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.