by Marquetta Smith | Feb 26, 2020 | Dating, Teen issues, Teens
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. How could there be? People make mistakes all the time, and these mistakes often affect more people than the person making the mistake. This includes their romantic partners. Because of this, it can be difficult for people to know when they are in a bad relationship. This is especially true of teengagers who don’t have life experience to refer to. How can you tell if there is no perfect standard to look towards?
For teenagers, there are many signs that you should look for to know if you are in a bad relationship. Studies even show that 1/3rd of teenagers will experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships. Some are easy to notice, like physical or sexual abuse. However, there are many others that are subtle and easy to overlook. Once you know them, they are easy to spot. Here are 3 huge signs that you might be in a bad relationship:
1. They gaslight you.
According to Encyclopedia Britannica, gaslighting is “an elaborate technique of psychological manipulation, usually by one deciever to one victim over and extended period.” Basically, this is when your partner manipulates you into not trusting your own sanity. It is a narcissistic type of abuse that is used to reaffirm the abusers need for affirmation and power. It takes many forms, but can look something like this:
You find texts between your partner and their ex. They are intimate in nature. You confront your partner with the evidence, but they deny it. How can they deny it when you have proof in your hands? You push forward, but they still deny the texts, and they turn it against you. Why were you going through their phone? You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re just mad and crazy. They know what it looks like, but they promise that it’s just your imagination. They snatch the phone away from you and complain about the invasion of privacy. You wonder if they are right.
This happens over and over again, until you lose your self esteem. You question all of your thoughts and choices. Eventually, your partner has complete control and knows they can do whatever they want without the fear of consequences.
Gaslighting has only recently been identified as a form of abuse, but it is detrimental to its victims. It destroys any sense of sanity or self esteem one has, and leaves the victim at the mercy of their abuser. It allows the abuser to isolate and manipulate their victim even further until they have been completely dominated. It is especially important for teenagers to look out for this red flag. This is because it is generally easier to manipulate and influence a young person. Because it is so catastrophic to the psyche, it is important to notice early when your partner is gaslighting you.
2. They lie to you constantly.
You hear it all the time: “Honesty is the best policy.” This may seem like a no brainer, but for some people, it is easier said than done. Some may even ask why lying is bad in a relationship in the first place. What is a little white lie to spare the feelings of someone you care about? Who cares if you bend the truth just a bit if it helps keep things comfortable? The truth is that no matter what the intention is behind the lie, it is damaging.
It is easy for teens to overlook lying as a red flag because it is something that many teens do. However, lying damages a relationship in many ways. Like gaslighting, it undermines the victims self esteem and confidence. It leads to distrust, which blocks the growth of intimacy. It stimulates feelings of guilt, shame, and paranoia. Victims of chronic lying often report feelings of anxiety and suspicion in regards to their partners. Research from The Center of Ethical Leadership even shows that lying can have negative impacts on your brain.
When your partner lies to you, they are not respecting you. They are insulting your intelligence by assuming that you can’t see through their stories. They don’t care about your feelings because they don’t care about the effects their lies have on you. They don’t recognize your relationship as a partnership and see you as beneath them. Teenagers need to be taught that lying is not healthy in any relationship. This knowledge could help them identify and avoid bad partners as an adult.
3. You don’t trust each other.
Trust is arguably the most important thing in any relationship. Relationships will ultimately fall apart if there is not some level of trust and understanding between partners. A lack of trust can cause a relationship to break down in many different ways. For example,if your partner doesn’t trust you, it can cause them to act irrationally. This could look like being overly controlling of the way you dress or the people you talk to. It can also look like invading your privacy or lying. None of these things stimulate positive growth in any relationship.
If there is no trust in a relationship, there is no foundation to build anything long lasting on. You can’t count on each other. You can’t assume that your partner has your best interests at heart. You can’t be at ease in your life because you will always be worrying about the other person betraying you. Trust is a 2 sided coin. Your partner has to trust you as much as you trust them in order for a relationship to work properly. Staying in a trustless relationship wastes time and leaves people, especially teenagers, vulnerable to abuse in the future.
Conclusion
Knowing the signs of a bad relationship is the first step in identifying toxic behaviors in your own life. It’s easy to see some of these signs, but smaller red flags that can also cause significant damage. It is especially important for teenagers to be able to see these signs as soon as they see them in their relationships. Love is about trust and honesty; there is no room for manipulation and deceit.
Written by Bethany Fischer, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, please visit our blog page at https:/safeharborim.com/articles/
Sources:
https://www.britannica.com/topic/gaslighting
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201801/how-secrets-and-lies-destroy-relationships
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/relationships-trust_b_3000579
https://www.thoughtco.com/low-self-esteem-linked-domestic-violence-3533790
https://www.apa.org/topics/sexual-abuse/
https://ethicalleadership.nd.edu/news/what-dishonesty-does-to-your-brain-why-lying-becomes-easier-and-easier/
https://www.teendvmonth.org/teens-suffer-emotional-abuse-relationships/
by Marquetta Smith | Oct 22, 2019 | Abuse, Dating, Domestic Abuse, Emotional abuse, Family Life, Family Violence, Married life, Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Teens
Victim blaming is seen in many situations, whether in instances of crime, poverty, or abuse. One example of victim blaming that often appears is in cases of domestic violence. These circumstances cause women to be silenced by their abusers. It’s important to note the damage that can be done by putting the blame on women in peril who may still be under the spell of their abuser–women who are especially unable to stand up for themselves.
Understanding why victim blaming occurs starts by taking a minute to understand the psychology behind this way of thinking. Much of this can be explained by what is called the “just-world bias.” Seeing innocent people get hurt without any sense of why causes our brains to want to find a reason. Someone receiving punishment must have done something to deserve it. This is because our brains crave patterns and prefer to think of the world as fair. When someone is treated cruelly without deserving it, our brains find this hard to believe. It creates a feeling of threat–if people can be treated unfairly, then it could happen to anyone. Victim blaming is a defense mechanism. [1]
“In essence, if people can find a reason why abuse is the victim’s fault, then abuse is something that can not only be controlled but prevented. And, in turn, it won’t happen to them.” [2]
How to Avoid Victim Blaming
- Challenge victim blaming statements.
If you hear someone engaging in victim blaming behavior, do not express agreement with their remarks or with an abuser’s excuses. Hold people you know to be abusive accountable for their statements or behaviors. [3]
- Don’t question victims.
Survivors know themselves better than anyone else. They do not need advice, solutions, or an interrogation. All they need from you is your support and willingness to listen. Offer kindness instead of questioning the validity of their experience. [3]
- Don’t be accusatory.
Asking victims of domestic violence questions like “what did you say to make him mad”, “what were you wearing that night”, or “what did you do wrong” can lead victims to blame themselves, staying trapped in a cycle of shame. Avoid asking questions like this and acknowledge that someone failing to avoid abuse does not need to be questioned. It is not the victim’s responsibility.
- Know frequent misconceptions.
There are tons of misconceptions born of the just-world bias. Knowing the truth about these can equip you to be a more caring, understanding supporter of survivors.
Clearing Up Common Misconceptions
“She/He wanted it.” No one in their right mind asks for rape, abuse, or violence. This form of victim blaming stops short of not listening to the victim at all. [4]
“It wasn’t [the abuser’s] fault – he/she didn’t know it was wrong.” Consent is consent. Violence is violence. Abuse is abuse. This type of rationalization can often silence victims from speaking up and seeking safety. Because they feel like their situation may not be serious enough to report, they keep silent. [4]
“She/he is lying.” The best research estimates false reporting rates lie between 2-5%. That means 95-98% of reports are not false. [4]
Though these examples may not reflect all experiences, there is a good chance that you or someone you know has been affected by similar generalizations. Whether you are currently struggling, in recovery, or know someone who needs support through their own healing journey, knowing the psychology behind victim blaming and the ways we can overcome the problem is extremely important.
If you are a victim, or you think you may know someone who is, do not be afraid to reach out for help. Though only a battered woman can decide if/when to take action, information and resources can go a long way.
Resources & support for anyone affected by DV &/or relationship abuse:
Call/Chat 24/7/365 | 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) | Español Chat 12-6PM
Hotline advocates are available at 1-800-799-SAFE and through online chatting at www.TheHotline.org
Related articles: Recognizing Signs of Abuse, How to Get Help if You are a Victim of Abuse, How to Recognize an Abuser, Why Therapy is Important for Trauma Survivors.
Written by Brooke Smoke, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries
References:
- https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/feb/27/victim-blaming-science-behind-psychology-research
- https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/why-so-many-are-quick-to-blame-victims-of-domestic-violence
- http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/avoiding-victim-blaming/
- https://orgs.law.harvard.edu/halt/how-to-avoid-victim-blaming/
by Marquetta Smith | Oct 22, 2019 | Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Emotional abuse, Family Life, Family Violence, Married life, Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Stories of Hope, Words of Encouragement
Abuse Survivor Katie Carlson Shares Her Story
Domestic violence is a serious crime that can involve both physical and psychological abuse. Unfortunately, it often happens behind closed doors, causing victims to live in fear and suffer in silence. In honor of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Safe Harbor will be hearing from abuse survivors who, through their stories, spread awareness and prove that their voices cannot be silenced.
One of these stories comes from Katie Carlson, who graciously shared her story of abuse and recovery. On behalf of Safe Harbor, I would like to thank Katie for taking the time to go through this interview process with me. Stories like hers make real impacts on our communities, whether local or international.
Katie’s Story
(The following story and interview has been edited for clarity.)
I got married when I was 22 years old, very suddenly to someone who changed as soon as we signed our marriage certificate. We met in August of 2015, when I had first enlisted in the Navy and was scheduled to fly out to basic training for the following February. I was not interested in romance; I had my own goals and dreams to fulfill, but he was relentless in getting me to date him.
Everything was too good to be true from the start. There were countless red flags that I chose to ignore, giving him the benefit of the doubt. A month after we started dating, he pushed me to marry him. My Navy recruiter was against the idea, so to add pressure, he said I would have to marry before January. I knew this was a bad idea, but my ex convinced me of the fairy tale we would have together. He told me that we would travel around where I was stationed, that we were perfect for each other, that I was unlike anyone else, and all the sweet talk you can dream up.
Against my better judgement, we were married on December 31st, 2015. He convinced me not to tell my parents or anyone else—it would just be our “secret.” That’s when the isolation began. He disapproved of being with my family around the holidays or for get-togethers. because he felt “left out” and disliked by them.
I could no longer call my brother or mother on the phone to have our normal conversations. I could not get coffee or lunch with friends. His worst excuse was when I went to hike with a coworker, Hailey*: he said that because she was one of his previous girlfriends who had cheated on him with another girl, it made him uncomfortable. From there, he justified his actions by saying, “Married couples can’t be friends with single people.” He defended his absurd excuses and gaslighted me if I argued his so-called logic.
I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I disclosed this to him early in our relationship. Soon after we married, I began having panic attacks so debilitating that I could not work, eat, or sleep. He blamed my childhood trauma for the attacks, rather than on my distress about the irreversible decision of our marriage. Then he accused me of cheating on him while I was in basic training and when I was about to be stationed. He instilled fear in me not to carry through with my enlistment by telling me about the number of females who are raped in the military (he was an ex-Marine, discharged for medical reasons – he could not handle the Marines). Because of this, I lied to my recruiter to get out of joining the Navy, saying I was taking someone else’s prescription medication to disqualify me.
For the next two years, my ex abused me emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, and sexually. He belittled and berated me, alone and in the presence of others. He left bruises on my legs from “goofing around.” He drugged me with Adderall and alcohol, so I would succumb to sleep with him. Money was restricted; I was not allowed to save to buy a house or go back to school. Neither of those ideas met his narcissistic standards.
Every day, I was on edge from needing to predict his mood, trying to be on my best behavior to save myself from any abuse, even though it was inevitable. I never knew which form of abuse he would use, but he mastered every one of them. There were many times when I said I would call the police, just to get a break from being body-slammed, pushed, and threatened. This carried on every day for two years.
In 2017, my dad had an affair. One of my brothers was addicted to heroin and meth. My family was falling apart, but I could not be there for them. I started therapy earlier that November and concealed it from my ex. He was convinced that my therapist was out to get him. On Christmas Eve, I was drunk all day, knowing I would have to save face yet again for my family and pretend everything was normal. Being drunk had become my daily facade, so that I would not have to emotionally endure anything else.
That night, I told my mom and sister-in-law about the rapes. My sister-in-law had already been secretly helping me plan my escape for a year. We communicated through my work email and Snapchat, deleting our texts because he would regularly go through my phone. One time, he saw my emails and blamed my sister-in-law for making things up about him and causing me to want to leave him. On that Christmas Eve night when I told them everything, however, my life changed.
I took the month of January to plot my escape and methodically planned each detail. I prepared an escape bag and a code word to text my mom and sister-in-law when it was time.
January 20th, 2018 was the day. The night before, I went out with some coworkers to celebrate their new jobs. All he said before I left was, “I’m not picking you up, so don’t drive drunk. I’m not bailing you out of jail.” He was cold, furious, and demeaning the next morning. I will never forget my realization that I had enough of this misery.
As he left for the gym, I lied and said I was going to get ready for work and head in early. When he came home earlier than I expected, I told him I was leaving. At first, he asked me what he could do for the next time, and I told him to be less like his dad, who was also an abusive alcoholic. As I left, my mom was not answering my calls. Thankfully, my sister-in-law stayed on the phone with me to make sure I was safe, and my best friend from work came to my rescue. Later I received a Snapchat from him of my go-bag, which he sent to all his contacts saying, “Katie is leaving me.”
I left. I cried the whole day. He tried convincing me to talk, but everything he said blamed our entire situation on me, that it was my fault he was abusive.
Two mornings later, I went to get the rest of my things from the house after he called many times the night before, left harassing text messages, and texted my brothers about how awful I was being to him. When I arrived, he had changed the locks. My dog stared at me through the window, wondering why I did not enter. Yet again, I was being victimized by him. I called the police to ask for a civil standby, but he beat me to it, making me look like the crazy abuser.
A week later, I started the divorce process. When I explained the paperwork to him, where to sign and how to walk through it, he was cool, calm, and collected. He acted this way so he could convince others that none of this was his fault if I lashed out. At one point, he refused to sign the divorce papers that he made mistakes on and made me drive 45 minutes back to his house to correct this. The real reason he did this was to simply show me the new woman he was sleeping with at his house.
Long story short, I survived.
In what ways has your recovery been difficult?
Flashbacks and nightmares of the rapes were very intense. I had insomnia for months before discovering EMDR therapy. Trying to find a new routine and a new normal after leaving felt impossible at the time. I wanted people to know what happened, but was in fear of being accused of playing the victim. I still have triggers: yelling, tone change, being touched a certain way. Even seeing someone who looks similar to him causes a panic attack.
How has your recovery journey led to positives in your life?
I have now found a new man, and it’s the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. I am close with my mom and family again. After losing my dog in the divorce, which hurt more than anything else, I was able to rescue a new companion, who is my world and my healing partner. I am no longer in fear when I walk into grocery stores or public places when I am alone. I have the capability to spot red flags in each person I meet and the confidence to walk away from situations that make me uncomfortable.
What would you say to fellow abuse survivors in their journey to recovery?
Don’t give up and don’t give in. It takes time, but you must devote your time to heal. I wouldn’t have come this far in my healing if it wasn’t for EMDR therapy. I highly encourage it. I know therapy is NOT for everyone. Therapists offer trauma yoga, survivor groups, and many other activities to promote recovery. Don’t be afraid to say no to outings with friends. Don’t be afraid of crying or being anxious. The process is different for everybody who endures domestic abuse, but now is the time to put yourself first, make your own decisions, and again, put yourself first.
What would you say to people who know abuse survivors and would like to show them a little extra love? What kind of support do you find most helpful?
Don’t pry! It takes time for a survivor to become comfortable with sharing their story, because they fear backlash. Check in and let them know you’re thinking about them. It takes as little as a text to show encouragement. Understand that they are healing from a trauma that is stigmatized. Share positive energy with them, and make them feel like they are the most important people in the world until they can find a new normal.
In what ways do you feel that abuse survivors are strong? What are your strengths as a survivor?
We band together! We understand that each person has a story and that story may be vastly different from survivor to survivor. We don’t compare apples to oranges. We have the ability to build a strong community and break a stigma through so many different experiences. My strength as a survivor is having an open door policy with others. If you ask me questions about my abuse, I will gladly share. If you ask me advice, I will give you some based on YOUR situation, not mine. I don’t project my abuse on others. That doesn’t help the person who is currently suffering.
What can abuse survivors teach us?
We are the most resilient group of individuals there is. We overcame such a horrific experience behind closed doors, yet we thrive in our personal lives and at work, and make something out of ourselves that no one expected. We have the ability to show the world that abusers don’t stand a chance at taking away our self-worth.
What do you want people to know about abuse survivors?
We’re people too! We don’t have to talk about our abuse to have a conversation. Don’t shy away from us; we understand it’s not someone else’s job to save us and that we have to save ourselves. We aren’t a puzzle to piece together: treat us as a friend and a human!
What is your favorite way to practice self-care and self-love?
I love spending time with my dog. A furry companion gives me something to focus on and care for, which in turn makes me take better care of myself. I go window shopping and get lunch with my mom. My go-to is always listening to comedians and podcasts. Chad Daniels, Chris Porter, and Iliza Schlesinger get me out of a down-day. The My Favorite Murder podcast lets me relish in comedy and my love of true crime. I’ll listen to it in the car, while I’m doing laundry, or even walking or hiking with my dog. Listening to other people talk about things I can relate to without having to be fully engaged is a great remedy.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
You’ll lose your identity from domestic violence and never fully get the “old you” back, and that is okay. The “old you” was shaped and desecrated by a monster. You can rebuild on your terms in ways you never thought imaginable. Keep working. You’ve survived 100% of your bad days so far, and that in and of itself is remarkable. You can survive 100% more.
Thank you again, Katie, for taking the time to share your story!
If you are concerned for yourself or a loved one, remember that there are resources & support waiting for you.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a 24-hour confidential service for survivors, victims and those affected by domestic violence, intimate partner violence and relationship abuse. The Hotline advocates are available at 1-800-799-SAFE and through online chatting at www.thehotline.org.
Call/Chat 24/7/365 | 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) | Español Chat 12-6PM CT
Written by Brooke Smoke, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries
by Marquetta Smith | Oct 21, 2019 | Abuse, Dating, Domestic Abuse, Emotional abuse, Family Life, Healthy Lifestyles, Married life, Teen issues
Emotional abuse is very devastating, and in some cases, can be more traumatic than physical abuse. Bruises and broken bones heal and leave visible scars, but for some, emotional abuse can linger, shaping them later in life and leaving invisible scars.
For emotional abusers, there are no particular targets. Abuse does not depend on gender, class, education, ethnicity, or political affiliations, showing up in any household imaginable. Most emotional and physical abusers are narcissists and psychopaths who display no empathy and are massively self-centered.
For survivors, staying out of emotionally abusive relationships can be difficult. This is especially true when abusers manipulate your emotions by acting kindly or expressing a longing to get back together. Unfortunately, the likelihood of their narcissistic or psychopathic tendencies changing is low, so leaving and getting the help you need to start healing is the best thing you can do.
How Emotional Abuse Affects the Brain
According to recent studies, chronic stress resulting from emotional abuse or any other kind of trauma releases cortisol. This is a stress hormone that can damage and affect the growth of the hippocampus, which is the main area of the brain associated with learning and memory. This leads to mental diagnoses like depression, anxiety, PTSD and C-PTSD.
PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is the result of a traumatic event or a series of events. C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is “the result of persistent psychological trauma within an environment in which the victim believes there’s no possibility of escape.” Another damaging effect on the brain from long-term abusive relationships can be Stockholm’s Syndrome, in which victims identify with their abusers and can even defend the abusers’ actions.
How to Heal After Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship
The fallout of a relationship marred by domestic violence can include harassment, attacks, or both. The ongoing mental trauma and emotional stress that follows can lead survivors to ask if leaving was worth the effort. A victim’s self-esteem is often extremely low at this point because of the abuser’s destructive work in their lives. If a survivor tries to rush recovery, this may result in depression, anxiety, and self-judgment. Because abuse is rooted in power and control, breaking away from the mindset that the abuser imposes in the victim is hard even if the survivor has already left the relationship.
Rebuilding your life will take time, but finding closure and peace is possible. Below are some steps to take to transition from victim to survivor:
- Cutting off all contact with your ex is your first step
- Surround yourself with support
- Take care of yourself
- Remember that healing takes time
- Tell yourself the truth, don’t be in denial
- Exercise
- Journaling
During this process of healing, you may feel like you need to forgive your abuser or that you are to blame for some part. This is not true, as you did nothing wrong. Be sure to surround yourself with a strong support network, whether that be with friends, family, or through counseling and support groups. Taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to recover. Remember that none of the abuse was your fault.
What Next?
While everyone at some point has heard the phrase “time heals all wounds,” the reality is that the process of recovery can feel incredibly frustrating. However, if you give yourself the time, you will begin to heal.
Emotional trauma victims need to feel physically and mentally safe, but this is easier said than done. Fortunately, it is still doable: if you pay attention to words or situations that trigger you, you can avoid further trauma and anxiety. Find things that make you happy and rediscover hobbies and activities that you once loved. This will take time, but is crucial to your restoration from domestic abuse since you are finding out who you are again. Having come out of an abusive relationship, you already have the internal strength to make future challenges a little less scary. You are now free and strong.
Written by Jessica Christian, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries
Related articles from SHIM: How to Get Help if You are a Victim of Abuse, What Is Domestic Violence?, Recognizing Signs of Abuse, Why Therapy is Important for Trauma Survivors, How to Recognize an Abuser
References:
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm
https://www.crisistextline.org/get-help/emotional-abuse
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-26165/5-lingering-effects-of-emotional-abuse-and-how-to-heal-them.html
https://flyingfreenow.com/healing-emotional-abuse/
https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-unhealthy-relationship/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw_5rtBRDxARIsAJfxvYACvwN-jdbXK0kSWMndYbj2ab61gWVYMOfKheBQh7i4lf0k_zHMgTAaAvRTEALw_wcB
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/effects-of-emotional-abuse#effects-on-children
https://hackspirit.com/3859-2/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurosagacity/201701/the-brain-can-work-against-abuse-victims
https://kimsaeed.com/2014/02/01/ptsd-in-the-aftermath-of-narcissistic-abuse/
https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/effects-of-emotional-abuse-on-adults
by Marquetta Smith | Oct 9, 2019 | Featured Post, Words of Encouragement
The Love Project is an ongoing program that strives to show love to individuals and communities through the sewing and giving of quilts. Each quilt is handmade by volunteers and is meant to represent a warm hug, a symbol that reminds our recipients of how much they are loved.
The Love Project was started by our executive director, Marquetta Smith, and her mother as a way to heal from personal experiences with domestic violence. Quilting first as a way to work through their pain, anger, and uncertainty, they turned their crafting into an opportunity to make the world a better place.
The ultimate goal of the Love Project is to sew and donate one million quilts. At this time, 340 quilts have already been crafted and given away with an abundance of love. Those eligible to receive a quilt include military families, abuse victims, children suffering from terminal illnesses, and deployed service members.
In addition to these groups, anyone who needs a hug of appreciation can also receive a quilt. At Safe Harbor International Ministries (SHIM), we are big believers in reminding as many people as possible how incredible they are to the community around them. We invite you to nominate an extraordinary person to be a recipient of The Love Project by using the Love Project form on our website here.
Volunteers at the Tommy Thompson Center (July)
As mentioned above, our goal of one million quilts is one we are determined to meet and exceed. However, we cannot achieve it without the love and enthusiasm of our community. Our partnerships with several organizations and groups have helped make our goal a reality. In July, we were privileged to sew and bond with the lovely volunteers from the Tommy Thompson Senior Center.
In September, we spent time with other volunteers at the Fayetteville Georgia Senior Center to hand sew pillows for children suffering from terminal illnesses. SHIM is also an active partner with the Promise Place Shelter. This is a place for those affected by domestic violence to find restoration, and we have shared love and hugs with them through finished quilts, pillows, and hats. We want to thank every single person who continues to make this project possible.
If you are interested in volunteering with us, please fill out the volunteer form. We are always looking to grow our volunteer community.
Fayetteville Senior Center volunteers Sue and Yolanda (September)
Recent recipients of our quilts have ranged from nursing home residents to young children suffering from traumatic illnesses. Many of our recipients have been astounded to learn of their nominations. Our children recipients include 10-year-old Lydia, who had a significant tumor removed in mid-July. Through this diverse spectrum of recipients, we hope our hugs reach people in all stages of life. Check out some of our incredible recipients here.
Marquetta with volunteers at the Tommy Thompson Center (July)
Every smile that we can bring to individuals in our community is what drives us to go above and beyond to meet our goal. As SHIM grows, we will continue to give your family the warmest hugs possible through our quilts.
Written by Rebecca Kochaneck, office administration team member at Safe Harbor International Ministries
