What is Therapy?

When considering the healing process for trauma and abuse victims, the idea of therapy may lead to some eyebrow raising. In the long term, however, therapy has undeniable benefits for these individuals. While therapy does not give you instant relief like regular medication, it is a tool to learn strength, confidence, and preventative information over time so that you never find yourself in an abusive situation again. Other benefits for victims of trauma include a better understanding and validation of one’s feelings, and rebuilding confidence so you can move on in life.

Therapy occurs in many forms, such as group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (which I am currently trying out), and mindfulness-based therapy. You can choose whichever one works for you according to your preferences, as long as you take a leap of faith and try it out.

Remembering that therapy is an ongoing process is important. You will not see many of its benefits right away, since healing from abuse requires time and work. For the most effective therapy, you need to be focused, willing to be vulnerable, and ready to participate in communication and self-help with the assigned “homework.”

Why Go to Therapy?

After attending therapy a few times, I found that it helps me understand more about myself and why I react uniquely in different situations, depending on events in my past. It also allows me to analyze the shame I often feel regarding past abusive experiences. For trauma victims, walking around with shame can cause anxiety and depression. Feeling like a shell of a person, you no longer feel like yourself, yet you badly yearn to return to the way life was before the abuse. Unfortunately, that is not possible, which is why learning to cope with your symptoms and getting help as soon as possible after experiencing trauma is paramount.

Understand/Validate your Feelings!

One of therapy’s benefits for trauma victims is how it teaches them to interpret their feelings and emotions, which can lead to the next step in the healing process. Validating those feelings and emotions can also promote self-confidence in oneself, a key element in building up the mental strength to leave behind past abuse. Since abuse victims usually believe that their emotional responses are unreliable, affirmations from unbiased outsiders like therapists can hugely impact victims’ mental well-being in a positive manner.

What are the Signs of Abuse?

A second reason therapy is helpful is that it educates victims on signs of abuse as a precaution for future, potentially dangerous circumstances. Moving past traumatic experiences includes learning how to discern appropriate and inappropriate behaviors in relationships. Being in an abusive relationship can induce self-doubt, which is detrimental to a victim in the process of healing.

Therapy can teach you what to look out for in a relationship that exhibits signs of domestic violence. Some of these signs are: discouraging you from seeing family and friends, shaming you verbally and psychologically, and controlling your whereabouts at all times (“What is Domestic Violence” n.d.).

Rebuild Confidence in Yourself!

A final reason to go to therapy is that it rebuilds your self-confidence and reminds you of who you once were. To avoid abuse, trauma survivors normally try to please their partners by catering to their desires and conforming to their ideals. Sadly, you can you lose yourself in this process of making the other person happy. Therapy can help you remember who you are and who you want to be after having experienced the abuse. It offers you a safe space to be who you want to be, to say what you want to say, and most importantly, to express your emotions and feelings without repercussions.

These are just a few reasons on why therapy is important for abuse survivors. Remember, therapy is not a magic pill-it cannot immediately remove the memories or feelings you hold of past trauma. However, by giving you tips on how to rewire your brain and think differently of your situation, therapy allows you to process trauma so that it no longer negatively affects you nor holds you back in life.

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship or experiencing some form of violence in the home, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Blog written by Lavette Warren, Non-Profit Management Team Safe Harbor International Ministries
For more blog posts and weekly podcasts, visit: www.solelysade.com

References:
“What is Domestic Violence” (n.d). Retrieved on August 21, 2019 from https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/