A caregiver  is someone who provides direct care for children, elderly or the chronically ill. For some, caregiving is a professional vocation.  For others it is a personal responsibility, like taking care of a young child, or a sick family member. For many, they have to balance both! In the US, it is estimated that three out of four workers have caregiver responsibilities. Without enough self care, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and lower their productivity at work and energy levels at home. 

Caregiver challenges in the professional world:

The global COVID-19 pandemic has the whole world coming to a standstill. However, the responsibilities of caregivers have increased. Let us take the professional caregivers. For example; hospitals, care facilities and nursing homes are scrambling to accommodate the increasing number of COVID cases. They have to do this with their regular load of patients with injuries, illnesses and various conditions. They have to risk getting the infection everyday at work. But, their worst fear is always bringing it back to home to their families. 

Apart from hospital staff, public service workers, sanitary workers and others working during this crisis, they are also facing tremendous pressure. They have to work in a precarious situation and take care for their families. It is more important than ever for caregivers to focus on self care as we have very little access to our support network and community help. Self care is also needed so we can feel better about ourselves in order to care for others. I think the phrase, “You cannot pour from an empty cup” is very relevant here to explain the importance of self care.

Caregiver challenges at home:

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes great emotional strength and perseverance. This is especially true when raising children in isolation during a pandemic. Currently, parents have additional challenges of balancing working during full-time parenting. School closures have also brought in additional concerns. There are concerns of securing meals for low income children. Sadly, there is also the concern of the increased risk of abuse at home for vulnerable children worldwide. 

Parents of children with special needs are left overwhelmed. Many have lost access to their community support system and schools during this quarantine. School closures mean that special needs teachers are not able to engage the children in developing motor, cognitive and social skills. Some parents who have lost their jobs are also facing financial uncertainty along with fears of contracting the virus and having to pay high costs in healthcare. 

Sudden change in the schedule and time away from teachers and peers can also snowball into emotional issues like aggression, excessive crying, and change in sleep patterns. This can add to caregiver stress. Overworked, stressed parents can easily snap or have an emotional breakdown. This is why self care is so important to relieve stress and improve function. 

Self Care Tips:

• Declutter your day: Make a to do list of most important things and things you can get away with. For example, cleaning the house is not the most essential task. You can give yourself a break by doing it just once a week or so. Prioritizing your tasks will help you feel more focused and relieved once you check that off your list.
• Allot 5-15 minutes to yourself each day: You can do this during your breaks at work. At home, let your spouse and children know that you are taking a few minutes for yourself. Throw your kids some snacks or plop them in front of the tv (we know screen rules are out of the window for now). Shut yourself in your room, put away your phones and any distractions. Meditate, do light exercises or listen to calm music. This will help you regroup your thoughts and give your brain a chance to recuperate from all the overload of information from work, family, news and social media. 
• Focus on CAN DO instead of the CAN’T DOs: When the pandemic hit my city and we were asked to stay indoors. I spent my first few weeks hysterically watching the news and talking to my friends and relatives over the phone about what was going on. I mostly focused on how we could not go out, how I could not do my work in peace, how I could not order take-outs all the time and how difficult everything was! The more I worried about what I could not do and how chaotic my life was, the more I got stressed and the less I smiled or felt good about anything. I realized how toxic negativity is when my daughter started mimicking it. 

What can we do?

In times like this, it is difficult to focus on the positives all the times. This is why we need to train our brains to think about all the things we can do.

• We CAN use this time to connect or reconnect with our families. Try to eat all meals together without screen time. Talk about different things that interest you, do family activities like puzzles and board games. This might be a tough time for us parents. But, our kids will remember this as the time when mommy and daddy spent all day with them and did fun stuff together. .
• We CAN work from home (at least some of us). One benefit is that we can see a personal side of people we work with. We can let our coworkers see a glimpse of who we really are. We can share similar stories and connect with people on a deeper level. Working from home has also forced several companies to accept telecommuting as an option. I strongly believe that in the future, work flexibility will be very common and beneficial to working parents.
• We CAN connect with people on social media. Focus on home projects that have been put off for months or years.
• For those who are at home and in good health, you CAN feel safe.

Practice Gratitude

Due to current circumstances, it is easy to fall into the rabbit hole of negativity and feelings of helplessness, frustration and anger. This negativity will only hamper our emotional health spiraling into depression and anxiety. It is important that we remember and acknowledge those who are on the front lines on this disease. We need to be thankful for their perseverance. If you are on the front lines, be grateful for the opportunity to serve your community. People depend on you for safety. It is easier said than done, but we have to purposefully practice gratitude. Reflect on daily positives, like when someone helped you with something or made you smile that day. 

Practice Humility and Kindness:

The world needs more love and kindness now than ever. Humility helps us stay grounded and focus on the needs of others. In turn, it will help you feel good about yourself. There is science behind how kindness improves our happiness quotient and you can read here. Spend time listening to what your family or friends have to say. Be mindful of what you put out. For example, its easy to feel angered over difference in opinions with friends or  strangers over the internet. Try to humble yourself and avoid any negative posts or people who drain your energy. Don’t hesitate in admitting what you don’t know or asking for help whether at work or at home. 

Seeking medical help in urgent cases:

A few weeks ago, my mom told me over the phone that my dad was not feeling well. He had stomach pains that were getting more painful over time. He refused to go to the hospital because of several fears. For example, fear of contracting the virus and increased medical costs. He also feared that no doctor would be available to attend to him. This is understandable since most hospitals have focused their resources in fighting COVID-19. Although my dad’s concerns were legit, it was also important to not ignore a health problem. He should have sought help immediately. Many of us are in the same boat. We ignore health issues thinking that they are not as important. We feel afraid to see a doctor at a time like this. 

Conclusion:

Please remember that your health and well being comes first. Only if you take care of your health, you can care for others. If you feel severely distressed, depressed or have suicidal thoughts, please call the National Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for help. For multiple mental health resources in GA state, please click here. If you are suffering from any physical or emotional stress, please don’t hesitate to call your doctor or 911. If you feel unsafe in your surroundings or are being abused, there are resources to help. Call 911 or National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Chat options are available on their website for those who prefer so. Domestic Violence hotline for GA state: 1-800-334-2836.  

Written by Ann Rollo, Human Resource Intern at Safe Harbor International Ministries For more articles, visit www.safeharborim.com/articles/