Everyone experiences some level of trauma in their lives. Trauma comes in many forms, and can affect people in many different ways. Some people do not have problems processing their trauma. When something bad happens, they are able to move on without much damage. However, not everyone has this ability. Many negative impacts can occur when trauma isn’t processed correctly. Developing PTSD is one of the negative impacts that can occur.

What is PTSD?

PTSD, also known as post-traumatic stress disorder, is a mental health condition that develops in some people after a traumatic event. Formerly called “shell shock,” PTSD was originally thought to only affect soldiers who experienced trauma from war. However, it is now known that other forms of trauma can cause PTSD, such as, but not limited to: 

• Sexual assault
• Natural disasters 
• Car accidents

Even events that some people may not consider to be traumatic can cause PTSD, depending on the person. Regardless of the event that leads to the development, people with PTSD can display a multitude of symptoms that can be very difficult to manage, such as:

• • Avoidance behavior: avoiding things, places, and even thoughts that remind the victim of the trauma
  • Intrusive memories: thoughts about the trauma that cause extreme distress and cannot be stopped by the victim
  • Negative changes in emotions and thinking: having changes in the way you think about yourself and the world; having difficulty expressing your emotions, especially positive ones; feeling numb and detached from yourself and the world, etc. 
  • Changes in physical and emotional reactions: developing insomnia; being easily startled or frightened; always being “on guard;” irritability, etc

These symptoms often disrupt the way that people with PTSD live their lives. It can be very difficult for people with PTSD to deal with their symptoms. Because of this, it is extremely important for people with PTSD to have a support system. It is even more important for that support system to know how to care for their loved one who is suffering. 

How can I help?

Having a support system is important for all people with disabilities, but it is especially important for those who live with PTSD. Those with PTSD are more likely to isolate themselves when their symptoms become acute. This leaves them at risk for dangerous behaviors like drug use and suicide. There are so many ways that you can support someone with PTSD. Health and psychology Melinda Smith offers a list of impactful ways that you can support your loved one with PTSD.

• Offer social support

According to trauma experts, social support is the most important thing someone can do to help a loved one with PTSD. This is because social support directly confronts those with PTSD’s tendencies to withdrawal. You can make your loved one feel comfortable by not talking about their trauma and by allowing them to “take the lead.” Doing “normal things” with your loved one with PTSD can help take their minds off of their trauma. Invite your loved one to events that interest them and include them in group activities. It is important for them to know that they are more than just their trauma.

• Be a good listener

Being receptive of your loved one’s feelings is crucial if you want to be part of their support system. It is important that they have people who are willing to listen to them without fear of judgement. Allow your loved one to speak with you about their trauma when they are ready. Be sincere in your communication with them and don’t discount their experiences. It is NOT helpful to tell someone that it “could have been worse.” Don’t offer advice that is not asked for, and don’t tell your loved one what to do. Instead, be there for them with open ears and an open mind. 

• Establish trust and safety

Because PTSD can change the way that someone sees the world, it can be difficult for them to trust others and feel safe. Making an effort to instill trust and safety in your loved one will help them feel more comfortable in their environment. You can do this in a number of ways. Reassure your loved one that you are committed to the relationship. Reaffirm your relationship by keeping your promises and talking about a future that includes them. Encourage your loved one to seek treatment, and go with them if they are comfortable with that.

• Know their triggers

Some triggers are unavoidable. However, knowing your loved one’s triggers can help you anticipate and hopefully avoid them. In our previous article “Abusive Friendship: What It Is and What It Looks Like,” I shared my experience with someone who would intentionally bring up my triggers to get a response. A true friend will not want to intentionally upset you. Being a true supporter means protecting your loved one from further emotional distress. Confronting and learning how to react to triggers can be helpful for those with PTSD, but that is something they need to do with a licensed professional.

• Educate yourself

Knowing about PTSD can better equip you to support your loved one in the most effective way. This goes beyond knowing their triggers. This means knowing signs and symptoms as well as unexpected effects of trauma. It may also be helpful to be educated on various treatment options. Being educated on PTSD doesn’t only help you be a better supporter. It is possible to extend your education to your loved one to help them understand their own disorder. Serious information like this can sometimes be received better from someone that the victim trusts and is comfortable with. Resources such as The National Center for PTSD provides information for victims and their support systems alike. 

Conclusion

PTSD is a painful mental condition that develops as a response to trauma. Some people are unable to process traumatic events, which leads to distressing symptoms that disrupt their lives. One of the best ways to treat PTSD symptoms is to have a healthy support system. Offering support, being educated, knowing triggers, and establishing support are all great ways to become a productive member of someone’s support system. 

Everyone experiences trauma, but not everyone reacts to it in the same ways. What is traumatic to one person may not be traumatic to another. Trauma is received on a spectrum. Despite this, it is still possible to be an ally. Being a true ally means taking your position seriously. Healing from your trauma isn’t always easy. However, with the right resources and people behind you, it is possible to find peace and closure.

Written by Bethany Fischer, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit www.safeharborim.com/articles/