It is very important for parents to learn how to encourage child autonomy. Instilling confidence and independence in your child will give them the skills necessary to become capable adults. 

A person’s childhood has major impacts on how they develop and function as adults. Most parents only want the best for their child. It is easy, however, to hinder your child’s development by doing what you think is best for them. Keep reading for tips on how to foster and encourage child autonomy.

What is child autonomy?

Autonomy is the freedom to make your own decisions. Children need to feel in control over their choices of behavior. Creating an environment that fosters child autonomy will ensure your child grows up knowing that they are in control of themselves. Child autonomy increases self-esteem, confidence, and independence in growing children. [1]

Parents are commonly overprotective, controlling, and stressed out of “love” for their child. Although it’s important to keep your child safe, it’s equally important to raise them to be independent. This means loosening the reins on them at times, even if there is potential they can fall down. Letting your children learn for themselves about their environment is the only way that they’ll develop intelligence and independence.

How to encourage child autonomy

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Give your child options. When it’s time to choose an activity to do, or foods to eat, it’s helpful to give your child choices. This will show them that they are making their own choice, and will often make them more satisfied with either option that they choose.

Let your child challenge themselves. Encourage your daughter/son to complete tasks by themselves, even if it’s difficult. Although it might take them much longer to tie their shoes, get themselves dressed, or brush their hair, it’s the only way they’ll learn to do it.

Give them responsibilities. Even little kids are capable of having responsibilities- within reason. That is to say, give your child responsibilities that they are able to maintain, so that they get used to the feeling. Cleaning up after themselves, feeding the pet, or getting their own drinks are reasonable responsibilities for a child.

Help them help themselves. The above being said, make it possible for them to be responsible. Put the dog food in a place that they can access it easily, or fill a low drawer with their own cups.

Be nonjudgmental and accepting. To encourage your child to have autonomy, that means accepting the choices they do make. Judging a child for their opinions or behavior will discourage them from thinking and acting independently. 

Give them space. Similar to letting them challenge themselves, children need space to learn and grow. Independent play is a good way to foster your child’s independence. Let them play with their toys by themselves, or give them space on the playground without constantly telling them to be careful, or holding on to them. Look out for their safety, of course, but do not be overbearing. This can cause children to rebel and actually harm themselves in order to show you that they don’t always need to be careful.

Trust! Developing mutual trust between you and your child is crucial. Your child must trust you to keep them safe within reason, so that they feel comfortable doing things on their own. You must also trust your child to do things on their own.

How faith relates to autonomy

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There’s a philosophical debate between personal autonomy and religion. Raising your child to have autonomy is important, but so is raising your child to trust in God, if you have a religious household.

In my opinion, I think that raising a child to be autonomous, and to have faith is possible. However, since autonomy does mean the freedom to make one’s own decisions, I do believe it is necessary to let your child figure out their own religious beliefs as they grow up. 

If religion is a part of your family, then there are ways to teach it to your children while still fostering autonomy. Like the above mentioned point, trust is a big factor in how to encourage child autonomy. Just like your child has to trust in you, encourage them to trust in God. Trusting in God helps me make confident decisions, which is important in autonomy. 

Conclusion

Parenting is no easy feat. Everyone has their own opinions on the best way to raise children, and that decision is personal to every parent. It’s expected to want the best for your child. It’s important to ask yourself what “the best” means to you. 

Independence, confidence, and direction are some of the most crucial traits that a person can have. Giving your child autonomy is the best way for them to develop these traits. 

We hope you learned how to encourage child autonomy in this article. Our July theme for the blog is “Family Matters,” so make sure to keep an eye out for more family-related posts. 

Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.