Dealing with Deployment During the Holidays

Written by Rebecca Kochanek



Family Life | Holidays | Married life | Military Family | Parenting

0 Comment(s)



11/11/2019

A solder hugs his two kids before deployment

When you think of the holidays, what emotions do you feel? For many people, this time of year brings families together that may live far from one another. It makes them feel warm, comforted, whimsical, and is the most wonderful time of the year. Unfortunately, not all military families have that opportunity to have every member of their family present for the holidays. They could be dealing with the deployment of a loved one.

Deployment can make it challenging for families to get into the holiday spirit. It is hard for couples of any relationship status, regardless if they have kids or not. The holidays can be hard when you are missing someone you love, but surrounding yourself with friends and family can help. Here are some ideas on how to cope with emotions you may be feeling through the season.

Dealing with those feelings is not easy, and that goes for parents and kids. You can experience loneliness, stress, depression, and frustration. Deployments can amplify all those feelings.

The deployed soldier is going through this as well; don’t think that he/she wants to be away from their family. They can go through depression, anxiety, and stress just as much, if not more.

How Can You Deal With Deployment During the Holidays?

For the soldier who is deployed, this could be your first deployment or your 5th; they never get easier. Here are some things you can do to help with the separation.

Write letters to your family
Send a gift back from where you are stationed; your kids will think it is cool
Record a book with you reading the story to them
Skype or video chat when you can
Send photos so they can hang them up in their room
Take care of yourself
Work out
Socialize
Stay in contact with your chain of command

Family skyping deployed soldier

Send gifts back from overseas; this allows you to send them something unique from a different culture. When my husband was deployed, he sent back a camel from Afghanistan to our oldest son, and he still has it. He also got me elephants from India. It is something that they can treasure and has a story behind it.

For the spouse back home, dealing with deployment is not easy, and if you have kids that can add to the stress, because they are going to need you more than ever.

Please make sure you talk with your kids and ask them how they are feeling. Try to keep them busy and have fun. However, don’t forget about you. Make sure you take care of yourself. Here are some things you can do:

Get out of the house, with and without the kids
Go to the gym to recharge
Talk to other military spouses who are going through a deployment
Communicate with your loved one with emails, phone calls, video chat
Send out care packages for each holiday filled with goodies and gifts; let the kids help package it
Send them pictures and crafts that the kids made
Make time to Skype
Have a girls/guys night out
Try a new recipe
Bake cookies with your kids
Stay connected with friends and family
Volunteer at your local VA hospital
Or Volunteer with Safe Harbor’s “Love Project” donation of quilts to military families

Make sure you are aware of the time difference between the two of you. They could end up calling 2 a.m. your time. Maintain all your regular holiday traditions, whether it’s decorating the house, putting ornaments on the tree, or staying up until midnight to watch the ball drop.

Older kids may notice that dad or mom is not there, and this can be harder on them. But if you keep all your traditions the same, this can help them not feel so alone and sad. Make a list of fun activities to do. For example, bake cookies, pick out the Christmas tree, go outside and make a snowman, watch holiday movies, or invite family and friends over for just a random get together. If you are able, schedule a time to open your gifts over a video chat. By doing this, you can have a family connection even thousands of miles apart.

Daughter putting up Christmas tree

It is important to try to make the most of it. This goes for couples with and without kids, family, and friends of the deployed service member. Everyone who loves the service member is affected together.

Organize a Military Family Potluck Dinner

If you don’t have family close and they can’t make it for the holidays, try to organize a dinner with other military families who are going through the same thing. This can help with getting you into the holiday spirit. Spending time with people in your community helps combat some of the loneliness you are feeling. Getting together, eating good food, singing, laughing, and participating in festive activities as a community can make a world of a difference.

Giving Back to Others

Many soldiers are deployed that have no family, they are not married and don’t have any kids. This includes veterans. Go to your local VA hospital and bring some gifts for them. Find out from your spouse if any soldiers in his/her unit have no family and send them a care package. This act of kindness is doing something great for someone else who is feeling lonely. Receiving something from home can make them feel just a little bit better, and even make their holiday special.

There is always someone out there in need of some holiday cheer. Try to remember to be grateful that you have a family and a loved one to cherish. This time of year can be hard for some that don’t have what you do. These soldiers put their lives on the line for us, so please remember the importance of showing your loved ones love this season.

If you are a family member, or the soldier who is deployed, and you are feeling depressed and need help, please reach out to your chain of command, your local MWR, or your Military One resource. They are there to help you.

A soldier holds the hand of their spouse