Emotional abuse from a teenager’s point of view:

“Once again, I’m at the stupid doctor’s office on my birthday, and I bet you this one can’t tell me what’s wrong with me. Happy 17th birthday to me. Maybe I’m making this stuff up in my head,” Crystal thought to herself. “Darn, dad’s calling me again.”

“Yeah, dad, I’m here… I’m getting ready to go in now.”

“I got a call from one of your teachers today,” her dad explained, “and Mrs. Bea told me that you are failing chemistry. How many times do I have to tell your stupid ass to study? Do you want to be like your mom, a bitch who died with no education? You’re gonna have to get your shit together, Crystal…call me when you leave the doctor’s office. I am so tired of your sick ass wasting my money on those doctors.”

…click. He hung up. Crystal’s stomach started hurting worse, but she managed to drag herself into the doctor’s office, and once again, the doctor could not tell her why she was in pain. They had run test after test after test.

Crystal was always wondering why she had so many stomach aches. She had gone to many doctors since she was 6 years old. No one could tell her why she had stomach pains. Crystal was hospitalized 4 times over the last 6 months due to doctors ordering numerous tests. This continued on until one day her doctor asked her to go home and keep a journal for one month documenting each time she felt the pain — the days, times, and events that took place when she started to hurt.

One month later, Crystal returned to the doctor with her journal. Her journal was an eye opener to her and to the doctor. It was documented that each time Crystal experienced pain was when she had an argument with her father. She even documented everything her father said to her when they argued. Things like: you are so stupid, dumbass, useless bitch, slut, etc. This list went on and on. But he had also called her “daddy’s little girl.” These were the words Crystal held on to through all of the terrible arguments.

Crystal loved her dad very much, and thought she had a good relationship with him — or at least a normal one, if there was such a thing. Her mom died when she was 8, and that is when she became closer to her dad.

Her dad had always called her daddy’s little girl. That made Crystal feel safe and very close to him.

Needless to say, the doctor helped Crystal find the source of the pain. Her father’s verbal abuse had taken a toll on her physical body.

Her doctor knew that he would have to send her to a therapist to help Crystal recognize and heal from the verbal abuse that she suffered from for so many years. Those negative words spoken by her father caused a lot of physical health problems for Crystal, even though she clung to the words “daddy’s little girl.”

By Marquetta Smith, MSSW