Great communication skills are arguably essential in every aspect of life, from personal relationships to your professional life.
In fact, a LinkedIn survey found that communication skills were the most sought-after soft skill among employers in the United States.

Being a great communicator does indeed allow you to bring across information effectively and efficiently. More importantly, however, it can also help improve your relationship with friends, family members, or partners.
Though different types of situations require a different type of communication, conversations amongst friends can also become more profound by practicing communication skills.

Communication is a two-way street, meaning that skills aren’t simply limited to becoming more efficient when speaking. For instance, an important part of being a great communicator is being an active listener.

Especially with Covid-19 limiting our communication options and impacting every single one of us in one way or another, improving your skills can help your friends or partners feel more supported and loved.

Tips for better communication

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Be an active listener

Contrary to what many people think of when hearing ‘communication skills’, communicating is not all about speaking. Rather, it is about the interaction between two or more people.
As such, at the root of a good communicator is someone who is also a great listener.

Even though we might think that we are listening to people when we are having a conversation, there is a difference between hearing and actively listening. For one, being an active listener involves not interrupting the speaker. More importantly, however, it is about consciously concentrating on what the other person is saying – without formulating a response.

Now more than ever, your friends might need someone to listen to them and truly hear what they are saying.
Remember that becoming a good listener takes practice. It is also okay for you to not feel like listening sometimes and needing someone to listen to you instead.

Implementing mindfulness into your daily life can help you with days like these, but it can also help you concentrate and free yourself from judgment or evaluation.

The more time you take to actively listen to what someone has to say, the more comfortable and supported they will feel.

Pick up on nonverbal cues

Communication does not just consist of what is said. Rather, we communicate using our body language, including facial expressions, posture, and hand gestures. Often only perceived subconsciously, our body language can signal both positive and negative feelings to the person opposite us.
For instance, consciously using an open body language can signal interest. Body language that might make you seem unapproachable, for example, is crossing your arms in front of your chest.

Though Covid-19 might make it harder to pick up on nonverbal cues because many of us are primarily communicating via electronic devices, body language and facial expressions can help you understand things that have not been said.
For example, it might be that your friend is struggling with their mental health, but is telling you otherwise. Paying attention to your friend’s body language might help you pick up on that. When in a situation like that, consider asking them whether they really are okay. This signals to your friend that you are truly there to support them, in whatever they might be feeling.

However, keep in mind that not everyone might want to share what they are going through. If someone does not want to tell you about it, their choice needs to be respected.

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Be assertive

Even though both listening and paying attention to body language are part of being a good communicator, what is just as important is standing up for yourself.

Being assertive does not necessarily mean being aggressive or forceful. What it can mean, however, is confidently stating your opinion – even though some people might disagree – or respectfully addressing issues.
Being assertive also includes you standing up for yourself and your needs. Even though listening and supporting others is important, it is just as essential for you to listen to yourself and to tell others when you need to be the one to feel supported.

Though we often want, and sometimes even expect them to, the people around us, unfortunately, cannot read our minds. Instead, we need to communicate to others what we think, feel, and what we need. Even though supporting others is important, it is just as important to take care of yourself.
So remember that it is okay for you to tell someone that you cannot listen to them today. It is okay for you to need someone to listen to you instead. And it is also okay for you to tell others what you need from them to feel supported or loved.

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Pay attention to what someone else may need

When a friend calls us to talk about a problem or an issue they are having, we often tend to offer solutions to try and fix it. However, we rarely stop to ask ourselves whether our friend is actually looking for advice.

Though it can be hard to predict, sometimes, all that friend or family member needs is some support. When immediately offering a solution, we might potentially give unwanted advice, when what they might need is someone to be there and to simply listen to them.
Trying to anticipate their needs is not easy. Keep in mind that body language can also be misread, so sometimes it might be best to ask your friend or relative if they want to hear your advice before offering it.
Even though this might seem like a small change, it can help your friend feel more valid and supported.

Differences in communication

Also, remember that people differ in the type of communication they are most responsive to.
For instance, you yourself might primarily respond to verbal cues or words of affirmation. Your partner, however, might be more responsive to gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch.

Discovering your personal love language – and ideally that of your closest friends or relatives – can help improve your relationships.
For example, if your own love language is ‘words of affirmation’, you might subconsciously assume that others feel the same way and support your friend by verbally reassuring them. However, if your friend’s love language is ‘acts of service’, they might not feel entirely supported through verbal reassurance. Instead, they might need you to physically do something for them.
Being aware of and understanding your own and other’s love language can immensely improve your communication. In turn, it can improve your relationship because you will be able to offer the support the other person needs.

If you are aware of the love languages of your friends, partners, or relatives, remember to specifically check in on the people whose language is ‘physical touch’. With physical distancing, these people might potentially struggle more than others and feel particularly alone.

Conclusion

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As with any other ability, improving your communication skills takes time. Particularly working on supporting others through improved communication skills might include having to break some negative patterns along the way, or experiencing setbacks. However, remind yourself that experiencing a setback or frustration is perfectly fine and part of the learning process.

To actively continue to improve your communication skills, try to reflect on conversations with friends or family, and try to spot your own strengths and weaknesses.

As many of us are currently struggling with our mental health in general or experiencing loneliness or anxiety, consider talking with your friends and family about mindfulness and communication.
Particularly working on improving your communication skills together might not only form a deeper bond of connection but – especially knowing each other’s love languages – can help everyone to feel more supported and loved.

Written by Samira Rauner, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, visit our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.