by Marquetta Smith | Sep 18, 2019 | Dating, Family Life, Featured Post, Healthy Lifestyles, Teen issues, Teens
As your child reaches their teenage years, an increased interest in dating is completely normal for them. However, since teens are still developing the emotional and relational skills needed for healthy relationships, parental guidelines are absolutely vital. While teens need space and privacy at times, those who talk with their parents will be more prepared for this stage of life.
Set Safety Boundaries
As a parent, setting boundaries is important to keep your teen safe while dating. Having age restrictions, using a chaperone when necessary, and establishing a concrete curfew are a few ways to start. Most importantly, parents must be informed about their teens’ relationships. Make sure your teen understands that you would like to know their basic plans (where they are going, what they are doing, and when they will be home) and keep them accountable to what they say. Setting guidelines for appropriate behaviors can show that you expect your teen to stay responsible.
Meet-and-Greet
Though your teen may not appreciate that you want to meet their date, doing so is an important step in your teen’s dating life. A simple conversation can go a long way. As soon as the timing is appropriate, be sure to discuss your boundaries with the parents of the person your teen is dating. Do they share similar values? Can you trust them to set similar safety rules?
Warn of Dangers
Your teen should be aware that dating in this age means that there is a multitude of dangers to consider. Discuss technology dangers with them and provide general guidelines for online romance. Remind them that anything they send can be used against them, no matter how much they trust the person on the other side.
In-person dating has its dangers as well. Violence in teen relationships is a serious issue. Nearly 1 in 11 females and approximately 1 in 15 male high school students reported physical dating violence in the last year. [1] It was found that 26% of women and 15% of men were victims of sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by a romantic partner before the age of 18. [1] Never be afraid to speak up if you notice manipulation or other unhealthy behaviors arising on either side. Establish safety rules and warn your teen of date violence dangers.
Mistakes are Part of the Journey: The Don’ts
As someone who was once a teen, you know how confusing life can be at this time. Be ready to remember: your teen will make mistakes. To keep yourself accountable, take care to follow these guidelines to make sure you handle your teen’s mistakes well. Being an overprotective parent can cause a rift in your relationship with your child. Nothing is more valuable than your child’s trust.
Being negative about your teen’s dating life can cause added tension. On the other hand, being indifferent can also be a problem. While you should be respectful of your teen’s personhood and developing independence, don’t be afraid to express healthy boundaries and to say no when necessary.
Keep the Conversation Open
Teens who talk regularly with their parents from a young age will generally be more ready to express discernment in the future. Remember that your teen doesn’t just need a leader, but also a friend and a mentor. If they feel comfortable expressing anything to you without fear of judgment or reproof, they will be more willing to keep you in the loop.
Article written by Brooke Smoke, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries
Resources:
- https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html
- https://www.verywellfamily.com/five-truths-teens-and-dating-2611146
- https://www.bhg.com/health-family/parenting-skills/teen-challenges/rules-for-teen-dating/
by Marquetta Smith | Sep 14, 2019 | Family Life, The Blended Family
Some people would say that a family is defined by blood relations, like parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins. Others would add that families can be created legally through marriage, adoptions and/or guardianships. In today’s society, families come in all forms, whether composed of unmarried, gay and lesbian, heterosexual, or married couples. This rise in non-traditional families can also be seen demographically, where the number of two-parent households has been in a steady decline since the 1960’s, dropping from 87 to 69 percent of households between 1960 to 2014.
Friends are Family
However, DNA and legal contracts are not the only ties that create families. Close friends are often considered family for many people due to the intimate relationships between them. For some individuals, these friends or families they choose to participate in can feel more like a family to them than their biological one. This can be particularly true for people whose nuclear families are dysfunctional or toxic. Ultimately, the reasons why someone would say that they consider their friends to be closer than family are varied and can include abuse, family dysfunction, addiction, or a lack of boundaries.
Single Parents
Having only one parent does not mean that your family is any less of a family compared to traditional ones. For single parents, being present in your children’s lives is more than enough.
Adopted/Foster Families
Many couples that cannot have children or want more choose to adopt or foster, since there are so many kids that need a home. Such couples wish to give these kids a happy, loving family.
Family is Not Only About Blood
Family can also include your faith communities, coworkers, or neighborhoods. Whether made of blood relatives, friends, or pets, family is family and comes in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
Article was written by Jessica Christian, blogger for Safe Harbor International Ministries
References:
https://abcnews.go.com/WN/defines-family-children-americans-survey/story?id=11644693
https://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/research/online-survey/june-2018-families-and-how-to-define-them-in-modern-society
https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/1-the-american-family-today/
by Marquetta Smith | Sep 10, 2019 | Family Life, Featured Post
At the time of writing this article, the most recent update for the death toll of Hurricane Dorian is at 43 people, with an expectation that the number will increase drastically due to hundreds being missing. [1] According to the International Red Cross, 45% of homes on Grand Bahama and the Abacos were severely damaged or destroyed, which is almost 13,000 properties. [2] As Hurricane Dorian hits North Carolina, Massachusetts, and eventually parts of Canada, having a conversation with your family about natural disasters may feel imperative. [3]
Though a difficult subject to broach, such discussions can help prepare your family, both young and old alike, for the emotional toll of such situations – even if you’re not in the path of the storm.
“Natural disasters can cause myriad emotionally harmful circumstances for children. Not only is the event itself stressful and frightening, but after it passes, stress can be incurred from the damage to children’s homes and possessions, from migration, and from breakdowns in social networks, neighborhoods, and local economies.” [3]
A 2015 study shows that a parent’s post-disaster adjustment is directly correlated to a child’s psychological processing of the event. [4] Though the trauma may not be as close to home for your family, chances are news coverage and conversation will make your family aware of the reality of disasters. The questions that arise due to troubling events like Hurricane Dorian can be difficult to answer, but here are a few tips you can use to help your family become educated, prepared, and mindful of their mental and emotional health.
Stay Calm
Setting a precedent of calm when talking about serious issues like storm safety can help your family, especially the younger members, feel safe and secure. If staying calm is difficult for the older individuals, remember to seek help and reassurance before approaching the subject with your children. An attitude of panic can transfer quickly to younger, more impressionable children.
Have a Plan
Assure your children and family members that you have a plan of action in case of an emergency. Although absolute safety is an impossible goal, letting the family know that you are prepared can be crucial for your children to feel safe. Including your children in preparations, like assembling an emergency kit or covering go-to shelter base plans, can also lead them to feel more in control.
Be Honest – and Smart
As you discuss natural disasters with your family, don’t be afraid to be honest about the damage such serious events can cause. However, be careful to limit exposure to media coverage that relies on sensationalized material. Using age-appropriate language to answer questions honestly is important and try to ensure that your children aren’t dwelling on images or stories that can cause unnecessary panic and insecurity.
Listen
If any of your family members express concern or fear, be sure to address it with a willingness to lend a listening ear. Encourage your children to express their feelings. You can discuss the reality of the dangers whilst leaving opportunities and freedom to express fears.
Show them the Heroes
News coverage of natural disasters can often be negative. Make sure your family isn’t only focusing on that side. Although disasters can leave wreckage in their wake, they also have a way of bringing people together. Show your kids the firefighters, churches, and volunteers that are donating their time to clean up the aftermath and rescue and comfort families in need.
Be a Hero
Another great way to help your family deal with the problem of natural disasters is to get involved in disaster relief efforts.
You can make a donation online at RedCross.org, by calling 1-800-RED-CROSS, or texting the word DORIAN to 90999. The Humane Society is another great organization that lets you donate towards an emergency animal rescue fund.
Article written by Brooke Smoke, blogger for Safe Harbor International Ministries
#dorian #hurricanedorian #hurricane #florida #miami #hurricaneseason #storm
References:
- https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/07/us/hurricane-dorian-bahamas-saturday-wxc/index.html
- https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-49602445
- https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1101425.pdf
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4687453/
- https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/talking-to-kids-about-natural-disasters/
- https://www.aetna.com/health-guide/talk-to-kids-about-natural-disasters.html
by Marquetta Smith | Sep 8, 2019 | Family Life, Parenting
Now that autumn is upon us, there are many fun things you can do as a family. Building from our suggestions, we at Safe Harbor International Ministries encourage you to sit the whole family down and write a list of what everyone would like to do during the fall.
Here is an example Bucket List to get the whole family involved
Go on a Hayride:
This is one of the most traditional outdoor fall activities that the whole family can enjoy, where you’ll often be taken through cornfields and mazes.
Fall Festivals:
Fall festivals are some of the best activities for the season as they have something for everyone. Many festivals have a huge variety of games and activities, like face painting, bobbing for apples, and of course, checking out the baby animals at the petting zoos.
Jumping in Leaves:
This is an activity that everyone can do and have fun for free. You just give your kids rakes and help make their own pile of leaves to jump in–it’s so easy your dogs will join in the mess!
Corn Maze:
This is a classic fall activity as so many people love going to corn mazes. Kids of all ages will have a blast trying to figure out how to get out of the maze.
Pumpkin Picking or Take a Bike Ride on a Scenic Trail:
Going to a pumpkin patch is exciting for everyone, with kids getting to pick out their own pumpkins to carve and decorate. Although picking the pumpkin is fun enough, we think cleaning it out and carving your own face on it is actually the best part of the whole experience. Also, taking a family bike ride on a cool fall day is a wonderful way to bond, be outside, and be physically active all in one activity. You could literally do both in one day!
Trick or Treating:
Trick or treating is another classic fall activity. Both kids and parents can enjoy it and for parents, be sure to take precautions for your children’s safety.
Go on a Fall Theme Scavenger Hunt:
First, have everyone in the family make individual lists of things to find inside and outside your home or neighborhood. Second, give your list to a family member to see what they wrote down. Third, complete the scavenger hunt and provide prizes, which can include giving the winners their favorite drinks or treats.
Make Dinner Together:
This can be a fun activity where you choose your favorite meal–chili for example– and have everyone participate in making it. Afterward, your kids can say that they helped cooked dinner, while you can say you didn’t have to work as hard.
With the cooler months of fall, everyone wants to get outside and start moving. Thankfully, there are so many autumn activities that can include the whole family. We hope our list has given you some great ideas for planning family fall activities!
Article written by Jessica Christian, Blogger for Safe Harbor International Ministries
For more articles and help, please visit to our site at safeharborim.com
Work Citations:
- https://adventuremomblog.com/40-fall-bucket-list-ideas/
- https://rhythmsofplay.com/fall-bucket-list-family-guide-for-the-best-autumn-ever/
by Marquetta Smith | Sep 8, 2019 | Parenting, Teen issues, Teens
Did you know that a 2014 study found that American teens have almost 750,000 pregnancies a year? [1] According to the Center of Disease Control and Prevention, in 2017 alone, 193,377 babies were born to teens between the ages of 15-19. [2] While the number is shockingly high, being the highest of all developed countries according to a 2015 study, the number of instances alone is just one troubling aspect of teen pregnancy. [3] Teen pregnancies are especially concerning because they are often accompanied by childbirth complications, which are the leading causes of death for women in the same age range globally. [4]
Although teen pregnancy rates in the U.S. have decreased in the last few years, teens and parents who take proactive approaches to the possibility of teen pregnancy are less likely to fall victim to certain risk factors. [5]
Is My Teen at Risk?
Lack of Sex Education
If you’re uncertain that your teen is at risk for an unplanned pregnancy, the best place to start is at home. When teens without proper sex education reach adolescence, they have a higher likelihood of participating in risk-taking activities, such as drug use, alcohol abuse, and reckless sexual behavior. Younger teenagers and those not aware of preventative measures, contraceptives, etc., are also much more vulnerable. [6] This, however, is preventable by taking a proactive approach to your teen’s education, and holding discussions well before they reach their teen years.
Drug and Alcohol Use
Alongside teens who lack healthy dialogue about sex education, teens who display tendencies for reckless behaviors, such as alcohol and drug abuse, are also at a higher risk for unexpected pregnancies. [6] Though not all teen mothers are or were previously involved with these behaviors, it’s best to pay attention to your teens and to talk to them about your boundaries when it comes to responsible behavior.
Low Self-Esteem
An underestimated cause for unexpected pregnancies is the factor of low self-esteem. [5] Teens with poor grades, a lack of future goals, and a general sense of complacency about their future tend to be greater risk-takers. The problem of low self-esteem can also be exacerbated by depression, anxiety, and other related mental illnesses. Whether low self-esteem is caused by mental health issues or not, it is an issue that should not be taken lightly.
Social Pressure
Teens who date at an early age due to peer pressure are more likely to make unsafe decisions. Negative peer relationships may encourage teens to have sex early.
Background
Lastly, those who come from a background of poverty are at an extremely high risk for unexpected pregnancies. Because these individuals can lack access to key resources, they may struggle to deal with issues related to teen pregnancy prevention and risks. [7]
Article written by Brooke Smoke, blogger for Safe Harbor International Ministries
References:
- https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-teen-pregnancy
- https://www.cdc.gov/teenpregnancy/about/index.htm
- https://www.guttmacher.org/news-release/2015/teen-pregnancy-rates-declined-many-countries-between-mid-1990s-and-2011
- https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy
- https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/
- https://www.verywellfamily.com/teen-pregnancy-risk-factors-2611269
- https://youth.gov/youth-topics/pregnancy-prevention/risk-and-protective-factors
