by Grace Haass | Oct 6, 2020 | Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Emotional abuse, Empowerment, Family Life, Family Violence, Physical abuse, Sexual abuse
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
The importance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month every October is never insignificant. This year, however, the need for awareness is even more prevalent. 2020 has brought extreme changes to every aspect of life as we knew it. Domestic violence is not an exception. Studies have predicted that domestic violence rates have increased worldwide since COVID exploded in March. Domestic violence is something everyone is a potential victim of, no matter your age, race, or background. Although it’s too early to finitely measure the impacts of the pandemic on domestic violence, we know for sure that this issue needs the spread of as much awareness as possible.
General information on domestic violence
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines DV as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.” Here are some statistics from the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
- 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the US have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- More than 12 million people are affected by intimate partner violence each year.
- 48.4% of all women and 48.8% of men in the US have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
There is no guide for what domestic violence looks like- it’s a broad issue that can affect people’s lives very differently. Most people typically envision physical abuse when they think of the issue. However, emotional abuse is just as significant. Check out our article, Emotional Abuse is Domestic Violence, Too, for a deeper look into the severity of emotional abuse.
The importance of spreading awareness
To spread awareness of the issue, it’s crucial to get the basic information of the issue circulating as widely as possible. Knowing the patterns and cycles of abuse is one step to prevent or heal from this issue in your own life and the lives of your loved ones. Recognizing signs of an abuser is also extremely important. Domestic violence often starts with subtle signs, but can rapidly escalate to more dangerous behaviors. The articles linked within this text have great information on these subjects.
Domestic violence has devastating physical, emotional, and psychological effects on its victims. The recovery process can be difficult, and painful, but healing from the trauma that DV brings into your life is always worth it. You deserve to live a happy, free, and safe life, no matter what your past entails. As mentioned above, nobody is exempt from the potential of domestic violence. If you have experienced DV, nothing you did, or do, has brought it into your life. It’s never your fault.
How 2020 has impacted DV rates
Photo by Priscilla Du Preezon Unsplash
Research regarding how the current year has impacted domestic violence worldwide is not yet conclusive. Since the pandemic is ongoing, it’s impossible to measure the ending effects of it. What we do know is that, so far, rates in many places in the world have increased. The reasons for it are logical.
Restrictions have been placed in most areas controlling where and when you can go. We know from history that whenever families spend more time with each other, like around the holidays, domestic violence rates increase. Lockdowns have done just that- increase the amount of time you spend around those you live with. There is a huge increase in exposure to potential abusers when you cannot leave your residency. Family members are also more irritable, and prone to arguing, during this stressful time. Victims have way fewer opportunities to seek help, since there are fewer reasons to go anywhere. It’s not a surprise that lockdowns have increased the potential for domestic violence.
Statistics
A current study by the NCBI has reported the global increases in domestic violence issues so far:
- In China, near the epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak, reported DV rates have tripled compared to the same time last year.
- Since March, France has experienced a 30% increase in domestic violence-related reports.
- Argentina reported a 25% increase in the same issue since their lockdowns began March 20.
- UN Women’s domestic violence helplines have received 33% more calls from Singapore and 30% more calls from Cyprus.
- Since stay-at-home orders were placed in Portland, Oregon, the police have made 22% more arrests in domestic violence-related crimes.
- San Antonio, Texas police have received an 18% increase in calls regarding family violence since lockdowns.
- New York City police have received 10% more domestic violence calls since March.
Judging from these statistics, it’s clear the coronavirus pandemic has impacted rates of domestic violence all around the world. And, again, these rates are still prone to further increases, since some areas are still under restrictions. This year hasn’t been easy for anyone, especially victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence is a giant issue that needs any attention it can get to prevent and help its victims.
Safe Harbor Mission/Hotlines
Safe Harbor is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families heal from trauma. Domestic violence is one of the most significant forms of trauma that families face. Therefore, our organization is dedicated to calling attention towards the issue and helping any victims we can. We have programs developed to help train providers or support groups for those who need it. We can also direct anyone to other hotlines/help centers in many areas of the world.
Want to learn how you can spread awareness surrounding domestic violence? Check out our article on just that topic, here. Be sure to connect with us on social media for more content regarding domestic violence awareness all month long, and every month!
Safe Harbor contact info:
contact@safeharborim.com
(404) 692- 3245
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1.800.799.7233 or livechat 24/7
Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out ur blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/
by Grace Haass | Sep 29, 2020 | Family Life, Family Living, Featured Post, Healthy Lifestyles
Disclaimer: We at Safe Harbor International Ministries are aware of the increase in domestic violence rates since the pandemic began. This is another very prominent struggle facing some families during COVID-19. Since this issue is so important to our organization, we are dedicating a whole blog post to it exclusively. This article will be published during the first week of October.
Introduction
One thing about the COVID-19 pandemic that has both pros and cons to it is the increase in family time. With work and school being online for many people, and public places staying closed, families have been spending more time together at home. Having no choice but to be together has given some families more opportunities to bond, bringing them closer.
But, being essentially locked in a house with the same person or group of people presents some challenges for both parents and children. Parents may find themselves arguing more. Children might be acting out because they aren’t sure how to deal with the emotions that come with all of this change. Parents might have trouble getting work done with increased distractions while their children are home. They also have the added responsibility of teaching children from home. Single parents are experiencing even more pressure than before. We know that families are struggling, so we’ve gathered some tips to support your family’s health during COVID.
Parental struggles during lockdown
Photo by Charles Deluvioon Unsplash
Parenting is arguably one of the hardest experiences there is, and now many parents responsibilities are increasing with their children being home 24/7. This change brings a lot of stress to both kids and parents. A lot of parents are fighting more than usual; or, their children are fighting more than usual. Stay at home orders have increased the tension in a lot of homes.
It’s important to recognize why your family may be experiencing an increase in arguments. An article published by the US News brings up a very good point in saying that the stresses of the pandemic are, “triggering the part of the brain called the amygdala that’s involved in experiencing emotions and survival instincts, and igniting the fight-or-flight response in many. And since fleeing is not an option, fighting is becoming all too common among family members.”
Tips for easing tension between your family
It’s understandable for everyone to be irritable sometimes, since humans experience healthily changing emotions. However, if you’ve noticed it’s become a persistent issue in your household since COVID hit, here are some tips to minimize the fighting:
- Communicate with your family members. Setting up a time for the whole family to talk is a good way to get issues off people’s chests. Let each family member discuss what has been bothering them lately, so that the other members are aware of the things that make them tick. For example, maybe your child gets irritated when their sibling leaves the bathroom a mess. Let them say that, and have the other sibling acknowledge that they will try harder to clean up after themself.
- Set specific times for when you will have discussions with your partner. The pandemic brings new issues for couples to discuss, but it’s important not to argue about them in front of your children. You also don’t want to spend the little alone time you may get with your partner fighting. A psychologist from the Child Mind Institute recommends that parents set a time limit for pandemic-related discussions, at a time when their kids aren’t in ears reach.
- Allow each family member time for personal space. Discuss personal boundaries with the whole family. Maybe have your children set up signs for when they need alone time, such as going to a certain area of the house, or closing the door in their bedroom, if they have their own. Parents can set up signs for each other as well.
- Parents, be kind to yourself. It is completely understandable if your children are getting more screen time right now. Sometimes that’s the only way that you’re able to give yourself a break. That’s okay. You’re not a bad parent if you’re losing your patience quicker these days. Check in with yourself, and be sure to be forgiving.
Family resources for parents
Photo by AbsolutVisionon Unsplash
As previously mentioned, a lot of parents are attempting to work from home. That’s a huge challenge if your children are also home, and many families struggle to afford the steep childcare prices. Luckily, there are a lot of online resources for parents who need tips for entertaining their children at home. Many professionals have written articles on the issues families are experiencing during this pandemic. Rather than repeat their information, it’s best to direct you to the words of those most credible on these subjects, so here’s a list:
Conclusion
We all know that families are struggling during the coronavirus pandemic. If you need some proof, one of our recent posts highlights family hardships during COVID. Everyone is struggling, regardless of their family situation.
Knowing that there is a community behind you can do great things to lift your spirits. Safe Harbor IM is here to be that community for you. We have a prayer team dedicated to praying for you, and ensuring you that you aren’t alone. Check out our Prayer Garden here.
Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/
by Grace Haass | Sep 21, 2020 | Abuse, Empowerment, Featured Post, Healthy Lifestyles
Introduction
No matter who you are, there’s definitely a point in your life when you’ve had trouble speaking up. It’s not always easy for anyone to say what they mean at all times. For trauma survivors- abuse, in specific- speaking up for yourself can be even more of a challenge. Physical or emotional abuse has lasting impacts on your self-esteem, which is a critical component when finding your voice. Learning to speak up for yourself is extremely important to living your truest, boldest, and happiest life.
Why it can be hard to speak up
Some people have shy personality types. Being shy is common, and doesn’t pose any issues unless you feel it inhibits your ability to speak up for yourself. If you feel like your needs, or voice, isn’t being heard because you’re timid, it might be time to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Besides shyness, abuse of any kind is another factor that can make it hard for someone to speak up for themselves. Consistent abuse, either physical or emotional, can make the victim feel worthless. Survivors of abuse are often led to believe that they did something to deserve the abuse, which makes them have very low self-esteem, or self-value. Victims of abuse usually spent the abuse period feeling powerless, since any attempts to stop their abuse were most likely unsuccessful. Even after the abuse ends, the effects of it linger.
Growing up in an unsafe environment makes it hard for you to speak up, even if your environment has changed. Never being given the opportunity to use your voice, or being met with abuse when you’ve tried, is definitely going to silence you. Recovering from abuse is multi-faceted, and finding your voice is one part of it. Luckily, it’s possible, and Safe Harbor IM is here to encourage you along your journey of recovery.
Photo by Maria Krisanovaon Unsplash
How to speak up for yourself
Learning to speak up for yourself won’t just happen overnight. There are very little people who are always able to say exactly what they mean with confidence, every single time. It’s a practice, and you have to take it one day at a time. Here are some steps to take to speak up for yourself better:
- Identify what it is you want to say. It could be just what you feel you need to say in any given conversation, or maybe there is an area of your life (a friendship, a relative, or a boss/teacher relationship) where you feel your voice is silenced. You need to have a clear understanding of what your truth is, so that you are able to communicate it effectively. Speaking honestly allows you to feel fully heard.
- Take into account the situation you need to speak up in. Different situations would require different things for you to be able to speak up. Usually, the individual you are talking to is the most important thing to identify. Speaking to a close friend who communicates similarly to you is going to require different communication skills than speaking to a bully, or someone with a personality disorder.
- Make comfortable boundaries for yourself. Setting personal boundaries is very important in feeling like you are living in alignment with yourself. Boundaries can help you when you are trying to speak up for yourself. Knowing what you are comfortable doing, and sticking to it, is the key to being able to say “no,” to something.
- Pay attention to your emotions. Take note of the conversations, or situations, that make you feel voiceless. Examine who you were talking to you, what you were talking about, and how they were talking to you. Noticing all these things can help you recognize the next time you’re in a conversation and feel yourself start to retreat into your shell. When you know why you’re shutting down, it can help you be brave and push through to use your voice.
- Treat yourself with kindness. Being gentle with yourself through this whole process is necessary for success. There will always be days, or certain times, when you feel like your voice wasn’t heard, or you weren’t able to say something you meant. Acknowledge that, tell yourself it’s okay, and try again from there on out.
Conclusion
In the wise words of John Mayer, “even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken…do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say.”
Effective communication makes people feel seen, heard, and loved. These three things are very important components of living a happy, whole-hearted life. It’s our mission to have every member of the Safe Harbor International Ministries community live whole-heartedly. Speaking up for yourself is critical for effective communication. For more tips, check out our recent blog post on communication, here.
Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/
by Grace Haass | Sep 10, 2020 | Family Life, Family Living, Featured Post, Gratitude, Wellness, Words of Encouragement
The coronavirus pandemic came seemingly out of nowhere. The sudden hit of this virus brought drastic changes to life as all of us knew it. While some are incredibly blessed by having it only change the location from where they work, others were affected more dramatically. Families are experiencing major hardships during COVID-19, ranging from unemployment to displacement. Whether it’s your family that needs help, or someone you know is struggling, Safe Harbor IM is here to help with resources.
Family hardships during COVID-19
Photo by Karim MANJRAon Unsplash
If your family is fortunate enough to escape any struggles brought on by the pandemic, you may not even be aware of the hardships it has brought for so many others. The statistics regarding familial issues from COVID are telling enough.
- According to AAP News and Journals, 43% of adults report they have lost their job, had their hours cut back, or know someone who has.
- For the majority population surveyed, 41.5% said they were able to transfer to work from home. Only 25% of low-income, or Hispanic families were able to say the same, the same source said.
- Urban Research Institute reported that 31% of adults could not pay rent, mortgage or utility bills.
- A study by Feeding America projected that the number of people experiencing food insecurity nationwide would increase by 17 million due to COVID-19.
There are other factors of the pandemic affecting families, as well. In many states, children are doing virtual learning. Having children home all day forces parents to find child care that they wouldn’t need to otherwise. Some parents can’t afford to pay for childcare, so they stay home themselves, but that means they can’t go to work. A lot of parents rely on school to provide breakfast and lunch for their kids, too.
It’s clear that from these statistics, the pandemic has not been easy for families to navigate. Many have been evicted from their homes, lost jobs, and are struggling to provide for themselves and their children.
How to help
Photo by Neil Thomason Unsplash
If you have the resources and the heart to help, we encourage you to. Your efforts would help ease some of the difficulties plaguing families right now. It’s not a small feat to solve, but every contribution does count.
- Donate to your local food banks. As seen from the statistics above, many people are newly finding themselves facing food insecurity. Feeding America has a database so you can easily locate the food banks around you. It’s important to note that money is a bit more useful to these organizations right now. Monetary donations allow them to allocate specific resources where they need them. However, if you do have extra food from your pantry, that always helps, too.
- Homelessness is an immediate threat for a lot of families right now. Donating to your local homeless resource centers is a good way to provide support. National Homeless has a database to help you find these local organizations.
- Support your local businesses/organizations. Buying from these places will directly support people in your community who run the business, or who are employed by it. Additionally, the resources mentioned in this article are all made possible by incredible organizations. Many of the issues these organizations aim to provide help for are being exacerbated by stay-at-home orders. Domestic violence and child abuse are two examples whose rates were set to increase during lockdowns. Donating to organizations or non-profits like ours will greatly help our leaders do their jobs to minimize and protect in-need communities.
Resources for your family
If your family needs assistance during this time, know that you are not alone. So many families are in the same boat, and although it’s definitely not easy. There are resources that can help you. The Safe Harbor International Ministries center is located in Georgia, and we are here to support families experiencing trauma in many Georgia counties.
For families located in other states, the databases linked in the section above can help you find your local food banks or homeless centers. There are also many online resources that can help get you in touch with other services, should your family need.
- The Red Cross Virtual Family Assistance Center is set up to provide behavioral health, spiritual health, and health services to families nationwide.
- The Children’s Defense Fund has an amazing page on their website where they showcase links to pages for 10 different kinds of help families could need right now. These include financial assistance, health coverage, child welfare, and immigrant families needing aid.
Conclusion
This year hasn’t been easy for anybody. As Safe Harbor International Ministries is always on the side of families, we acknowledge the newfound challenges many are facing during this pandemic. Even if your family doesn’t need any financial or other physical support, you could just as well need emotional support. These times are unsettling, and living in uncertainty for so long often brings emotional distress. I know it has for me personally, and I know I’m not alone. Turning to my faith during this pandemic has really helped me trust that things will be okay.
The Safe Harbor Prayer Garden is set up to provide you with relaxing prayers to listen to at any time, or to take your submissions for specific prayers you want support with.
We hope this article provided you with some insight into the help your family can give or receive during COVID-19.
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/
by Grace Haass | Sep 4, 2020 | Featured Post
Introduction
Our September theme is self-improvement, and we will be doing highlight weeks that relate to the theme. This week is centered around education. In today’s day and age, there are many accessible ways to educate yourself on a variety of topics. You can find great resources for self-improvement online. Instead of being limited to education only through books, there are many different forms of media online. Videos, blogs, lectures, and research journals, to name a few. All you need to further your self-development journey is a device with internet access!
What do we mean by self-improvement?
Self-improvement is a pretty general term. So what do we mean by it? According to Dictionary.com, self improvement is, “improvement of one’s mind or character through one’s own efforts.” Basically, it’s anything you do in an effort to better any aspect of yourself.
Whether you’re to acquire a new skill, or improve an existing one, the Internet surely has what you need. You can learn how to cook, speak a new language, or even knit.
When lockdown orders first started, I found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands. My mom suggested I pick a recipe and learn to perfect it. I’m not sure about you, but personally, I consider being a good cook an important character trait ;). So, I turned to the internet and got to researching. I decided on sourdough bread, which was no easy feat. But, I wanted something time consuming to distract me from the fact that I was supposed to be traveling around Europe (which is a whole different story). A few quick Google searches provided me with a basic understanding and an amazing recipe for starting sourdough. I spent the next few weeks kneading my sadness away, which made for some pretty great batches of sourdough bread.
My sourdough!
Fun hobbies aside, I also spent some of my time in lockdown working on self-development. It was through the Internet that I came across an amazing platform for yoga and meditation. The classes offered here taught me how to be present with the mixed emotions I was feeling from the uncertain state of the world. I also came across this internship with Safe Harbor IM through an online hiring website. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity it has given me to improve my writing and professional skills!
Best video resources
You might prefer to learn through listening rather than reading. Or, maybe you’re a visual learner. Either way, there are very useful video platforms online.
- TED. Ted is a website that features what are known as TED talks. They are lectures by credible individuals, on any topic you can think about. TED has videos on everything from science to activism. For self-improvement related videos, I suggest checking out the tab labeled “personal growth,” or “identity.” “Health” is another one of my favorites!
- YouTube. I’m sure you’ve heard about YouTube, but maybe you only watch videos that provide mindless entertainment. There are actually a ton of educational videos on YouTube. The great thing about these is that a lot of them are demonstrations, so you can actually watch a real person give a how-to tutorial.
Best Blogs
Needless to say, the Safe Harbor blog is one of my personal favorite blogs. However, I will admit there are other blogs out there that are just as good for self-improvement in specific.
- The Positivity Blog. This blog inspires you to focus on positivity to start living a happier life!
- Mark Manson’s blog. You might recognize his name, since he is a New York Times best-selling author. In the archives of his blog page, you can find articles for any aspect of self-improvement. His articles will help you direct your life how you want to, and strengthen your relationships.
- Zen Habits. Leo Babauta’s blog will help you practice mindfulness to improve every area of your life. You can learn how being present will help you work less, how to move through your day with ease, and even the benefits of rest. This one is close to my heart because he lives in San Diego, like me!
Other online resources for self-improvement
Here are a few other resources online that I’ve found useful for my self-development journey.
- Pinterest. I love using Pinterest as a virtual dream board. Pinning things that relate to my goals helps me actually visualize them. Visualizing is a big part of manifesting things into reality.
- Apps. Apps are available to download on smartphones, laptops, and tablets. There are so many that are dedicated to self-improvement. This blog post lists some apps that they claim will change your life!
Photo by William Ivenon Unsplash
Conclusion
In my opinion, everyone always has a little room for self-improvement. Lucky for us, technology makes it much simpler to do. Although the Internet can sometimes feel like a time-sucking blackhole, it does offer us many productive, positive resources.
In the current state of the pandemic, you might still be stuck at home with some extra time. What a better way to use it then to improve yourself! Hopefully this article directed you towards a new resource that you’ll find useful. Be sure to read the articles on our blog for the rest of September, as they will all relate to our theme of self-improvement.
Written by Grace Haass, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries. For more articles, check out our blog page at https://safeharborim.com/articles/.
