In a society that idolizes the idea of having the perfect body type, it is no surprise that at least 9% of the worldwide population struggle with an eating disorder. With that being said, where do you establish your validation? What is the foundation of your self-image? Do you find yourself comparing yourself to influencers that you see on Instagram? Do you feel trapped by society’s expectations for your pants size? How much time do we spend comparing ourselves to those impossible standards instead of focusing on what is genuinely important? I’m going to introduce you to Jess, a teen who is about to graduate high school who has a mission to use her voice to tell her story. 

Introducing Jess: 

Jess is a couple of months away from graduating from high school. She has plans to attend Liberty University, where she hopes to study Christian Counseling. She is involved in her church ministry by being part of the teaching program for kids. She has also taken on tasks to help with social media and fundraising for the youth program. On a personal note, Jess has developed a passion for disordered eating through her own experience. Below, Jess shares a part of her story. 

Jess As a Young Teen:

I struggled with comparing myself to others and have always tried to meet society’s expectations and everyone around me, no matter what it took. Living in a household where I was taught to bottle up my feelings was carried to my adult life. My struggles became a barrier pushing away opportunities that were given to me. I lost who I was; I became a person living under a rock, shutting out the world, friends, and family. Slowly I was entering a deep dark space with vines dragging me down filled with thorns, cutting tiny bits off parts of me. Soon, I noticed I was attached and obsessed with the idea of being someone else instead of being what God made me to be. I would spend hours scrolling through social media, comparing my physical features to every influencer I came across. I would look at people in school, and my thoughts would always be, “why can’t I be this beautiful” or “why do they have a perfect life”? The truth is that no one’s life is perfect, and especially them being perfect does not exist. The harsh reality is that we are used to seeing the outside, and the inside is never revealed. People portray themselves as something they are to please others or be accepted in their circle. The honesty of it all is that we are all created full of beauty, and your worth is not determined by what people say or see. Our value is determined because someone greater who loves immensely said it from the very beginning, and that is God. 

Questions for Jess: 

What are some common signs of an eating disorder to look for in a loved one? 

When detecting an eating disorder, some common signs are the fear of gaining weight, small episodes of binge eating without control, picking on food without exactly eating it, excessive exercising, and the unwillingness of a healthy diet. Other signs are developing feelings of shame and guilt when eating and having strong urges to lose weight through forced expulsion of food.

What is one piece of advice that you would give to someone struggling with an eating disorder? 

One piece of advice that I would give to someone struggling with disordered eating is that looking for society’s validation is not worth it. You should not have to hurt your body, mind, soul, and heart for others to accept you. I encourage you to find love for who you are because you are beautifully made. 

What helped you the most when healing from your battle with an eating disorder? 

What helped me the most is that I realize spending so much time with others around me is not always the best. Sometimes, we need time for ourselves. Shutting the world for at least a day won’t hurt. You will understand yourself better and discover more talents and gifts when you focus on who you are without distractions and comparison. 

Can you tell me what you believe God-confidence is? 

God-confidence is placing your complete dependence on God, whether it may be your dreams, goals, validation, or your ultimate desires in life. It means genuinely giving God the lead and access to take control of all aspects of your life. Overall, you are telling God to provide the strength to handle things thrown to you in life.

 What is one thing you wish people knew about eating disorders? 

I want people to be aware that eating disorders can develop in any shape body. There are no exceptions when it comes to someone battling through this. Anyone at any age can encounter the urge to be someone else. 

Source: Antonius Ferret

Can you give one resource that has helped you on your journey to self-love? 

This book, Girl, Stop Apologizing because sometimes we can’t be sorry for pursuing or embracing the way we feel. We need to own it. We need to show authority and the power we have beneath us. This book has been an eye-opener because I have actively battled healing from bullying towards others and myself. This book is a great encouragement for someone who feels like they are not valued or loved. We all come from a place of being lost, and we all need to remind ourselves we have a greater calling, and it’s our job to search and dig for it with the help of meditating and praying to God. 

Final Thoughts from Jess

My goal is to reveal that living an expectation of society rather than yourself is not worth it if you’re risking your life for approval. I want you to know that you are not in this battle alone. I want you to know that you were made perfectly. When you try to change yourself to be accepted by a corrupt society, you are setting yourself up to feel more broken. I want to help you understand that God doesn’t see you what people see. He sees beyond that. He knows us better than anyone will here on earth. I did it myself, and now I can speak to you that it was never the right path to follow. 

My Final Thoughts: 

I want to thank Jess for her time and perspective on answering these questions. It’s vital to see the value in young people’s voices because they are creating our future. It has been wonderful to hear where Jessica’s heart is, and we wish her the best as she continues to spread the positive messages placed on her heart. 

Conclusion & Resources: 

Breaking free from an addiction can be terrifying and overwhelming. Struggling with disordered eating can be scary and isolating. What is important is that we look at the root of the problem. We have to be cautious of the media that we are taking in, especially when it comes to social media. As difficult as it is, there is so much freedom in unfollowing accounts that don’t contribute to our self-love. Remember, you are worthy of being loved- no matter what shape and size your body is. You are beautifully created to be you. Comparison is the thief of joy, and you are needed in this world, just as you are.

Here are a couple of resources if you or a loved one are battling an eating disorder: 

The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) is a free resource that offers a free hotline with calling, texting, and instant messaging options. Check out their website for more information.

Call 1-800-931-2237

Text “NEDA” to 741-741.

Jessica’s Favorite Book  – Girl Defined 

Written by Rebecca Kochanek, Intern Coordinator, and Jessica Tlacuatl, High school intern. For more articles, visit ww.safeharborim.com/articles/