What is Sexual Abuse?
The first type of child abuse we want to take a closer look at this month is Child Sexual Abuse. We defined sexual abuse in the last article as follows: “Sexual abuse occurs when an adult or older child uses a child for sexual gratification, or involves them in sexual acts.”
A child does not have the ability or sound judgment to consent to any form of sexual activity. Thus, any sexual activity involving a minor is child sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can be anything from showing a child pornographic images, to fondling, to intercourse, to sex trafficking. Any one of these issues is enough to make a person’s skin crawl. You might wonder, “How is this even possible?” And yet 21% of adults report being sexually abused as children. To add to the atrocity, 93% of child sexual abuse victims knew their abuser well. Unfortunately, perpetrators are usually family members, family friends, or other caregivers.
93% of child sexual abuse victims knew their abuser.
Sexual abuse has many lasting effects. Most, if not all, children who have been sexually abused face mental, emotional, and physical challenges as a result. Victims of sexual abuse generally experience a sense of shame, and are prone to depression and anxiety long into their adulthood. In many cases, children experience Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD).
Not only is the child harmed physically, mentally, and emotionally, but they are made more vulnerable to further abuses down the road. According to Exodus Cry, an anti-trafficking organization, victims of child abuse are prime targets for traffickers and other abusers. 65-95% of minors and adults now involved in prostitution were abused as children. Oftentimes, children who were abused continue the cycle and abuse others if they are not provided with proper counseling and after-care.
Preventing Child Sexual Abuse
What can be done to combat child sexual abuse? How can we identify it and address it in our communities? How can we stand up for the children in our lives?
Talking to Your Own Children
The first step to preventing child sexual abuse is to talk candidly with your own children. Children should be taught boundaries. They need to know that it is not okay for anyone to touch them in certain areas. An easy way to explain it would be to teach them that any area that is normally covered by a modest swimsuit is off-limits.
Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything. Make sure they feel safe confiding in you, and let them know that they won’t get in trouble. Media coverage of incidents can be a useful platform for talking to kids about these types of issues. If your child hears about an incident on the news or at school, you can ask them questions such as, “Have you ever heard of this happening before?” or “What would you do in this situation?” (Rainn.org).
Recognizing the Signs
The next step to preventing child abuse in your community is being able to recognize the signs of sexual abuse. Signs of such abuse can be identified in both the abused and in the abuser.
Signs of Sexual Abuse in a Child
Physical Signs:
- Bleeding, bruises, or swelling in the genital area
- Bloody, torn, or stained underclothes
- Difficulty walking or sitting
- Frequent urinary infections
- Pain, itching, or burning in the genital area
Behavioral Signs
- Doesn’t want to change clothing (i.e. for P.E.)
- Withdrawn, depressed, or anxious
- Eating disorders
- Preoccupation with body
- Aggression, delinquency, poor peer relationships
- Poor self-image, self-care, or lack of confidence
- Sudden absenteeism or decline in school performance
- Substance abuse, running away, recklessness, suicide attempts
- Sleep disturbance, fear of bedtime, nightmares, bed wetting (advanced ages)
- Sexually acting out
- Unusual or repetitive soothing behaviors (hand-washing, pacing, rocking, etc)
- Changes in hygiene (i.e. refusing to bath or bathing excessively)
- Develops phobias
- Expresses suicidal thoughts
- Sexual behavior or knowledge that is advanced or unusual
Signs of Abuse in a Caretaker
- Parent fails to supervise a child
- Unstable adult presence
- Jealous/possessive parent
- Sexual relationships troubled or dysfunctional
- Parent relies on the child for emotional support
Reporting Abuse
If you think you have identified signs of abuse, report it! Reporters of child abuse are always anonymous and protected. Each state has its own laws on reporting, but ChildHelp has developed a national child abuse hotline where people can report suspected abuse. ChildHelp is able to connect you with the correct organizations and resources in your state. Do not try to intervene on your own or handle a situation privately. This rarely prevents future abuse.
If a child confides in you about experiencing sexual abuse, or abuse of any kind, there are some important steps for you to take.
First of all, remain calm. If a child senses disapproval or pain in you as a result of their words, they are likely to shut down.
Second, believe what the child is telling you! Such reports are rarely false.
The next step is to re-establish safety. Develop a plan to prevent the child from unsupervised contact with their abuser. Pay close attention to what the child needs in order to feel safe, even when requests seem odd.
Also, strive to protect the child’s privacy. Do not discuss the abuse with anyone who does not need to know.
Another important course of action is to affirm to the child that the abuse is not their fault. Children need to know that they are not to blame in any way. Do not express anger in front of the child, they may interpret it as you being angry at them for speaking up.
Finally, get help. Report what you have been told to someone outside, a child abuse hotline, or other authorities. Handling the situation privately is rarely effective in preventing future abuse.
Written by Hannah Wilson
Edited and reviewed by Marquetta Smith, Executive Director of Safe Harbor International Ministries
Sources:
https://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse
https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/what-should-i-do-after-a-child-tells
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/somatic-psychology/201303/trauma-childhood-sexual-abuse/
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