As your child reaches their teenage years, an increased interest in dating is completely normal for them. However, since teens are still developing the emotional and relational skills needed for healthy relationships, parental guidelines are absolutely vital. While teens need space and privacy at times, those who talk with their parents will be more prepared for this stage of life.
Set Safety Boundaries
As a parent, setting boundaries is important to keep your teen safe while dating. Having age restrictions, using a chaperone when necessary, and establishing a concrete curfew are a few ways to start. Most importantly, parents must be informed about their teens’ relationships. Make sure your teen understands that you would like to know their basic plans (where they are going, what they are doing, and when they will be home) and keep them accountable to what they say. Setting guidelines for appropriate behaviors can show that you expect your teen to stay responsible.
Meet-and-Greet
Though your teen may not appreciate that you want to meet their date, doing so is an important step in your teen’s dating life. A simple conversation can go a long way. As soon as the timing is appropriate, be sure to discuss your boundaries with the parents of the person your teen is dating. Do they share similar values? Can you trust them to set similar safety rules?
Warn of Dangers
Your teen should be aware that dating in this age means that there is a multitude of dangers to consider. Discuss technology dangers with them and provide general guidelines for online romance. Remind them that anything they send can be used against them, no matter how much they trust the person on the other side.
In-person dating has its dangers as well. Violence in teen relationships is a serious issue. Nearly 1 in 11 females and approximately 1 in 15 male high school students reported physical dating violence in the last year. [1] It was found that 26% of women and 15% of men were victims of sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by a romantic partner before the age of 18. [1] Never be afraid to speak up if you notice manipulation or other unhealthy behaviors arising on either side. Establish safety rules and warn your teen of date violence dangers.
Mistakes are Part of the Journey: The Don’ts
As someone who was once a teen, you know how confusing life can be at this time. Be ready to remember: your teen will make mistakes. To keep yourself accountable, take care to follow these guidelines to make sure you handle your teen’s mistakes well. Being an overprotective parent can cause a rift in your relationship with your child. Nothing is more valuable than your child’s trust.
Being negative about your teen’s dating life can cause added tension. On the other hand, being indifferent can also be a problem. While you should be respectful of your teen’s personhood and developing independence, don’t be afraid to express healthy boundaries and to say no when necessary.
Keep the Conversation Open
Teens who talk regularly with their parents from a young age will generally be more ready to express discernment in the future. Remember that your teen doesn’t just need a leader, but also a friend and a mentor. If they feel comfortable expressing anything to you without fear of judgment or reproof, they will be more willing to keep you in the loop.
Article written by Brooke Smoke, blogger at Safe Harbor International Ministries
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